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Realrocknrolla
Posts: 1903
Joined: Fri Jun 05, 2020 7:15 pm

It is just before Scotland v England in the Euro’s Group game.

Kane goes into the English changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit glum.

"What's up?" he asks.

"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Scotland. They're shite and we can't be bothered".

Kane looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat these by myself, you lads go down the pub."

So Kane goes out to play Scotland by himself and the rest of the English team go off for a few pints. After a few jars they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "England 1 - Scotland 0 (Kane 10minutes)". He is beating Scotland all by himself!

Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on". They put the teletext on.

"Result from the Stadium "England 1 (Kane 10 minutes) - Scotland 1"(Angus McShagnasty 89 minutes)".

They can't believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against Scotland!!

They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate him. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them.

"I've let you down, I've let you down."

"Don't be daft, you got a draw against Scotland , all by yourself. And they only scored at the very very end"

"No, No, I have, I've let you down...

I got sent off after 12 minutes"

CREDIT:
Sent to me by Puggsie
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Derek27
Posts: 23476
Joined: Wed Aug 30, 2017 11:44 am
Location: UK

:lol: :lol:
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jimibt
Posts: 3641
Joined: Mon Nov 30, 2015 6:42 pm
Location: Narnia

Realrocknrolla wrote:
Fri Jun 18, 2021 2:58 pm
It is just before Scotland v England in the Euro’s Group game.

Kane goes into the English changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit glum.

"What's up?" he asks.

"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Scotland. They're shite and we can't be bothered".

Kane looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat these by myself, you lads go down the pub."

So Kane goes out to play Scotland by himself and the rest of the English team go off for a few pints. After a few jars they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "England 1 - Scotland 0 (Kane 10minutes)". He is beating Scotland all by himself!

Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on". They put the teletext on.

"Result from the Stadium "England 1 (Kane 10 minutes) - Scotland 1"(Angus McShagnasty 89 minutes)".

They can't believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against Scotland!!

They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate him. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them.

"I've let you down, I've let you down."

"Don't be daft, you got a draw against Scotland , all by yourself. And they only scored at the very very end"

"No, No, I have, I've let you down...

I got sent off after 12 minutes"

CREDIT:
Sent to me by Puggsie
even as a scot i found that funny (and almost TRUE!!).. lol
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Dallas
Posts: 22674
Joined: Sun Aug 09, 2015 10:57 pm
Location: Working From Home

Realrocknrolla wrote:
Fri Jun 18, 2021 2:58 pm
It is just before Scotland v England in the Euro’s Group game.

Kane goes into the English changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit glum.

"What's up?" he asks.

"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Scotland. They're shite and we can't be bothered".

Kane looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat these by myself, you lads go down the pub."

So Kane goes out to play Scotland by himself and the rest of the English team go off for a few pints. After a few jars they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "England 1 - Scotland 0 (Kane 10minutes)". He is beating Scotland all by himself!

Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on". They put the teletext on.

"Result from the Stadium "England 1 (Kane 10 minutes) - Scotland 1"(Angus McShagnasty 89 minutes)".

They can't believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against Scotland!!

They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate him. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them.

"I've let you down, I've let you down."

"Don't be daft, you got a draw against Scotland , all by yourself. And they only scored at the very very end"

"No, No, I have, I've let you down...

I got sent off after 12 minutes"

CREDIT:
Sent to me by Puggsie
That was good
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paspuggie48
Posts: 611
Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
Location: South-West

Realrocknrolla wrote:
Fri Jun 18, 2021 2:58 pm
It is just before Scotland v England in the Euro’s Group game.

Kane goes into the English changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit glum.

"What's up?" he asks.

"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Scotland. They're shite and we can't be bothered".

Kane looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat these by myself, you lads go down the pub."

So Kane goes out to play Scotland by himself and the rest of the English team go off for a few pints. After a few jars they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "England 1 - Scotland 0 (Kane 10minutes)". He is beating Scotland all by himself!

Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on". They put the teletext on.

"Result from the Stadium "England 1 (Kane 10 minutes) - Scotland 1"(Angus McShagnasty 89 minutes)".

They can't believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against Scotland!!

They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate him. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them.

"I've let you down, I've let you down."

"Don't be daft, you got a draw against Scotland , all by yourself. And they only scored at the very very end"

"No, No, I have, I've let you down...

I got sent off after 12 minutes"

CREDIT:
Sent to me by Puggsie
LMAO..it was a gud'un :D
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paspuggie48
Posts: 611
Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
Location: South-West

So my dad just died because he needed blood and we didn’t know his blood type.

He was so brave and even tried to encourage us, the family around him, with his last breaths.

He kept whispering to us to Be Positive.

(sounds like the England game at the moment)
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paspuggie48
Posts: 611
Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
Location: South-West

Euler wrote:
Wed Jun 09, 2021 4:20 pm
Who can drink 2 litres of gasoline?

....Jerry can
I'm sorry to admit but I LOVE stupid silly one liners like that...well done Tim Vine :D
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wearthefoxhat
Posts: 3205
Joined: Sun Feb 18, 2018 9:55 am

People say shop-lifting is bad, but I don't buy it.
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paspuggie48
Posts: 611
Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
Location: South-West

wearthefoxhat wrote:
Sat Jun 19, 2021 2:47 pm
People say shop-lifting is bad, but I don't buy it.
Ditto !

I'm sorry to admit but I LOVE stupid silly one liners like that...well done Tim Vine :D
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paspuggie48
Posts: 611
Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
Location: South-West

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.

I gave him a glass of water.
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paspuggie48
Posts: 611
Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
Location: South-West

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side got amputated? He’s all right now.
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paspuggie48
Posts: 611
Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
Location: South-West

There’s a new restaurant called Karma. There’s no menu. You get what you deserve.
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wearthefoxhat
Posts: 3205
Joined: Sun Feb 18, 2018 9:55 am

If I had 0.50p for every failed maths exam, I'd have £6.30 now.
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Derek27
Posts: 23476
Joined: Wed Aug 30, 2017 11:44 am
Location: UK

The judge just passed sentence on Derek Chauvin, he's been ordered to pay a mandatory surcharge of $78 from his prison wages. :lol:
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megarain
Posts: 2040
Joined: Thu May 16, 2013 1:26 pm
Contact:

Africa joke :

The local council in Cairo were v concerned about the lack of tourists in Egypt, and felt it was partly due to the lack of sounds in the city, from less trafffic due to Covid etc.

They instructed all the taxi drivers to hoot every 30 secs, trying
to recreate the atmosphere of a busy city.



They called the project - Toot in car men.
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