The beer garden
Doing a bit of a clearout. Just found my Youth Training Scheme graduation certificate.
Communications: Has shown improvement of written and oral English, telephone skills, interview techniques, letter writing and comprehension, form filling, group discussions. What bollocks! I could barely put two words together.
Communications: Has shown improvement of written and oral English, telephone skills, interview techniques, letter writing and comprehension, form filling, group discussions. What bollocks! I could barely put two words together.
I've spent the year going through all the songs in the top 100 since my birth, and this is the worst I've come across so far. I remember at the time the Radio One DJ would apologise to have to report to listeners that it's climbed the charts.
If it helps, the songs about a new dad talking to his baby.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoZNbVG ... 8&index=44
If it helps, the songs about a new dad talking to his baby.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoZNbVG ... 8&index=44
I've spent my entire life opening jars for women, but for the first time ever, I've got a fat jar of jalapenos that I can't open!
My natural instinct was to reach for my toolbox but the jar's too wide for mole grips. Smashing the jar open or drilling through the top would be a health hazard and contaminate the jalapenos. Still working on it but I realise now how tough life must be for single women.
My natural instinct was to reach for my toolbox but the jar's too wide for mole grips. Smashing the jar open or drilling through the top would be a health hazard and contaminate the jalapenos. Still working on it but I realise now how tough life must be for single women.
As a professional jar opener my advice would be to just pop the tight vacuum seal, I usually try and stick a knife under the lid or tap the lid a few times with a wooden spoon until it popsDerek27 wrote: ↑Fri Dec 03, 2021 6:26 amI've spent my entire life opening jars for women, but for the first time ever, I've got a fat jar of jalapenos that I can't open!
My natural instinct was to reach for my toolbox but the jar's too wide for mole grips. Smashing the jar open or drilling through the top would be a health hazard and contaminate the jalapenos.
Works every time unless there are beautiful single women present in which case it somehow embarrassingly won't work and you'll look like an idiot. So what you do in those situations is take a rubber band and wrap it around the lid before twisting it, you will not only appear clever but this will also prove how firm and manly your grip is to everyone present, sometimes even the men.
Thanks for the tip. I've always felt when women ask you to open a jar they really want to see if you're the right man for them and can satisfy all their needs.Kai wrote: ↑Fri Dec 03, 2021 10:40 amAs a professional jar opener my advice would be to just pop the tight vacuum seal, I usually try and stick a knife under the lid or tap the lid a few times with a wooden spoon until it popsDerek27 wrote: ↑Fri Dec 03, 2021 6:26 amI've spent my entire life opening jars for women, but for the first time ever, I've got a fat jar of jalapenos that I can't open!
My natural instinct was to reach for my toolbox but the jar's too wide for mole grips. Smashing the jar open or drilling through the top would be a health hazard and contaminate the jalapenos.
Works every time unless there are beautiful single women present in which case it somehow embarrassingly won't work and you'll look like an idiot. So what you do in those situations is take a rubber band and wrap it around the lid before twisting it, you will not only appear clever but this will also prove how firm and manly your grip is to everyone present, sometimes even the men.
Or perhaps they see you as a jar-opener.Derek27 wrote: ↑Fri Dec 03, 2021 5:01 pmThanks for the tip. I've always felt when women ask you to open a jar they really want to see if you're the right man for them and can satisfy all their needs.Kai wrote: ↑Fri Dec 03, 2021 10:40 amAs a professional jar opener my advice would be to just pop the tight vacuum seal, I usually try and stick a knife under the lid or tap the lid a few times with a wooden spoon until it popsDerek27 wrote: ↑Fri Dec 03, 2021 6:26 amI've spent my entire life opening jars for women, but for the first time ever, I've got a fat jar of jalapenos that I can't open!
My natural instinct was to reach for my toolbox but the jar's too wide for mole grips. Smashing the jar open or drilling through the top would be a health hazard and contaminate the jalapenos.
Works every time unless there are beautiful single women present in which case it somehow embarrassingly won't work and you'll look like an idiot. So what you do in those situations is take a rubber band and wrap it around the lid before twisting it, you will not only appear clever but this will also prove how firm and manly your grip is to everyone present, sometimes even the men.
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I'll be sure to flick through the Kama Sutra later on to see what position requires the ability to open a jarDerek27 wrote: ↑Fri Dec 03, 2021 5:01 pmThanks for the tip. I've always felt when women ask you to open a jar they really want to see if you're the right man for them and can satisfy all their needs.Kai wrote: ↑Fri Dec 03, 2021 10:40 amAs a professional jar opener my advice would be to just pop the tight vacuum seal, I usually try and stick a knife under the lid or tap the lid a few times with a wooden spoon until it popsDerek27 wrote: ↑Fri Dec 03, 2021 6:26 amI've spent my entire life opening jars for women, but for the first time ever, I've got a fat jar of jalapenos that I can't open!
My natural instinct was to reach for my toolbox but the jar's too wide for mole grips. Smashing the jar open or drilling through the top would be a health hazard and contaminate the jalapenos.
Works every time unless there are beautiful single women present in which case it somehow embarrassingly won't work and you'll look like an idiot. So what you do in those situations is take a rubber band and wrap it around the lid before twisting it, you will not only appear clever but this will also prove how firm and manly your grip is to everyone present, sometimes even the men.