The beer garden
I've just cleared out the spam folder of a disused email address and I couldn't help chuckling at this one. 
"I have hacked into your computer, my software is so sophisticated it updates every four hours. Your antivirus software won't detect it. I have been monitoring everything you do, every website you visit, every email you send and receive, I have full access to your camera and all your contacts."
...
"I have compiled a lengthy video of your activity. On the left-hand side is a video of you happily masturbating and on the right-hand side is what you were watching at the time."
"I have hacked into your computer, my software is so sophisticated it updates every four hours. Your antivirus software won't detect it. I have been monitoring everything you do, every website you visit, every email you send and receive, I have full access to your camera and all your contacts."
...
"I have compiled a lengthy video of your activity. On the left-hand side is a video of you happily masturbating and on the right-hand side is what you were watching at the time."
shame it would be just an indulgence to respond. but if it weren't, I'd respond with:Derek27 wrote: ↑Mon May 08, 2023 5:29 pmI've just cleared out the spam folder of a disused email address and I couldn't help chuckling at this one.
"I have hacked into your computer, my software is so sophisticated it updates every four hours. Your antivirus software won't detect it. I have been monitoring everything you do, every website you visit, every email you send and receive, I have full access to your camera and all your contacts."
...
"I have compiled a lengthy video of your activity. On the left-hand side is a video of you happily masturbating and on the right-hand side is what you were watching at the time."
*thanks for keeping an eye on my hardware. much appreciated (you naughty infiltrator)*
and then sign it off *...thinking of you*!!
Driving at 20mph in a modern car is so difficult. So quiet, smooth, excellent braking and handling. 20mph feels like you're standing still. They should have a 20mph cruise control setting as a default. Evidently God delegated that responsibility to the Bish and he failed. Flog him, I say!!!
In fairness, there must be police following him around in unmarked cars waiting for him to hit 21/31/41 and nick him. I know I certainly would.greenmark wrote: ↑Fri May 12, 2023 10:51 pmDriving at 20mph in a modern car is so difficult. So quiet, smooth, excellent braking and handling. 20mph feels like you're standing still. They should have a 20mph cruise control setting as a default. Evidently God delegated that responsibility to the Bish and he failed. Flog him, I say!!!
I guess its easy to be fooled by his devotion to religion, I forget that noone gets to the top without having a steely ruthlessness.Derek27 wrote: ↑Fri May 12, 2023 10:57 pmIn fairness, there must be police following him around in unmarked cars waiting for him to hit 21/31/41 and nick him. I know I certainly would.greenmark wrote: ↑Fri May 12, 2023 10:51 pmDriving at 20mph in a modern car is so difficult. So quiet, smooth, excellent braking and handling. 20mph feels like you're standing still. They should have a 20mph cruise control setting as a default. Evidently God delegated that responsibility to the Bish and he failed. Flog him, I say!!!
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beermonsterman
- Posts: 459
- Joined: Sun Dec 25, 2016 2:47 pm
- Location: Birmingham UK
Chris Billam-Smith and few beers money in the bank 
what more do you need
what more do you need