The beer garden

Relax and chat about anything not covered elsewhere.
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Derek27
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Joined: Wed Aug 30, 2017 11:44 am
Location: UK

I've just switched on the TV. They've given King Charles a glove. After all the money they've spent on the ceremony they can't even afford a pair. :lol:
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Derek27
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Location: UK

Whoever designed this ceremony had some sense of humour. :lol:
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Derek27
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Location: UK

Repeat after me, I swear that I will pay true allegiance to Your Majesty, and to your heirs and successors according to law. So help me God.

:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Derek27
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Location: UK

God's pissing on the King's parade. :D
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Derek27
Posts: 24077
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Location: UK

I've just cleared out the spam folder of a disused email address and I couldn't help chuckling at this one. :D

"I have hacked into your computer, my software is so sophisticated it updates every four hours. Your antivirus software won't detect it. I have been monitoring everything you do, every website you visit, every email you send and receive, I have full access to your camera and all your contacts."

...

"I have compiled a lengthy video of your activity. On the left-hand side is a video of you happily masturbating and on the right-hand side is what you were watching at the time."


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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jimibt
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Joined: Mon Nov 30, 2015 6:42 pm
Location: Narnia

Derek27 wrote:
Mon May 08, 2023 5:29 pm
I've just cleared out the spam folder of a disused email address and I couldn't help chuckling at this one. :D

"I have hacked into your computer, my software is so sophisticated it updates every four hours. Your antivirus software won't detect it. I have been monitoring everything you do, every website you visit, every email you send and receive, I have full access to your camera and all your contacts."

...

"I have compiled a lengthy video of your activity. On the left-hand side is a video of you happily masturbating and on the right-hand side is what you were watching at the time."


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
shame it would be just an indulgence to respond. but if it weren't, I'd respond with:

*thanks for keeping an eye on my hardware. much appreciated (you naughty infiltrator)* :D

and then sign it off *...thinking of you*!!
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Derek27
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Joined: Wed Aug 30, 2017 11:44 am
Location: UK

Archbishop of Canterbury convicted of speeding - he was doing over 20 mph! :o

Not very godly of him. :lol:
greenmark
Posts: 5176
Joined: Mon Jan 29, 2018 2:15 pm

Derek27 wrote:
Fri May 12, 2023 10:23 pm
Archbishop of Canterbury convicted of speeding - he was doing over 20 mph! :o

Not very godly of him. :lol:
Driving at 20mph in a modern car is so difficult. So quiet, smooth, excellent braking and handling. 20mph feels like you're standing still. They should have a 20mph cruise control setting as a default. Evidently God delegated that responsibility to the Bish and he failed. Flog him, I say!!!
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Derek27
Posts: 24077
Joined: Wed Aug 30, 2017 11:44 am
Location: UK

greenmark wrote:
Fri May 12, 2023 10:51 pm
Derek27 wrote:
Fri May 12, 2023 10:23 pm
Archbishop of Canterbury convicted of speeding - he was doing over 20 mph! :o

Not very godly of him. :lol:
Driving at 20mph in a modern car is so difficult. So quiet, smooth, excellent braking and handling. 20mph feels like you're standing still. They should have a 20mph cruise control setting as a default. Evidently God delegated that responsibility to the Bish and he failed. Flog him, I say!!!
In fairness, there must be police following him around in unmarked cars waiting for him to hit 21/31/41 and nick him. I know I certainly would. :)
greenmark
Posts: 5176
Joined: Mon Jan 29, 2018 2:15 pm

Derek27 wrote:
Fri May 12, 2023 10:57 pm
greenmark wrote:
Fri May 12, 2023 10:51 pm
Derek27 wrote:
Fri May 12, 2023 10:23 pm
Archbishop of Canterbury convicted of speeding - he was doing over 20 mph! :o

Not very godly of him. :lol:
Driving at 20mph in a modern car is so difficult. So quiet, smooth, excellent braking and handling. 20mph feels like you're standing still. They should have a 20mph cruise control setting as a default. Evidently God delegated that responsibility to the Bish and he failed. Flog him, I say!!!
In fairness, there must be police following him around in unmarked cars waiting for him to hit 21/31/41 and nick him. I know I certainly would. :)
I guess its easy to be fooled by his devotion to religion, I forget that noone gets to the top without having a steely ruthlessness.
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Derek27
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Joined: Wed Aug 30, 2017 11:44 am
Location: UK

Screenshot 2023-05-15 015657.gif

:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Derek27
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13 cars set alight in Dorset last night, but it was nothing to do with me. I was at home trading.
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Derek27
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Tip: If you're dissatisfied with your amount of living space, just clean all your windows, inside and out. It will make you feel like you're living in Buckingham Palace. :)
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Derek27
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Location: UK

One of the drawbacks of spending all day looking at prices is that you can't even have a dump at the end of the night without looking down at it and thinking, it's 1.04 that's not going down by flushing alone. :lol:
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beermonsterman
Posts: 522
Joined: Sun Dec 25, 2016 2:47 pm
Location: Birmingham UK

Chris Billam-Smith and few beers money in the bank :mrgreen: what more do you need
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