The beer garden

[Kai]

I've spent my entire life opening jars for women, but for the first time ever, I've got a fat jar of jalapenos that I can't open!

My natural instinct was to reach for my toolbox but the jar's too wide for mole grips. Smashing the jar open or drilling through the top would be a health hazard and contaminate the jalapenos.

As a professional jar opener my advice would be to just pop the tight vacuum seal, I usually try and stick a knife under the lid or tap the lid a few times with a wooden spoon until it pops

Works every time unless there are beautiful single women present in which case it somehow embarrassingly won't work and you'll look like an idiot. So what you do in those situations is take a rubber band and wrap it around the lid before twisting it, you will not only appear clever but this will also prove how firm and manly your grip is to everyone present, sometimes even the men.

[Derek27]

I've spent my entire life opening jars for women, but for the first time ever, I've got a fat jar of jalapenos that I can't open!

My natural instinct was to reach for my toolbox but the jar's too wide for mole grips. Smashing the jar open or drilling through the top would be a health hazard and contaminate the jalapenos.

As a professional jar opener my advice would be to just pop the tight vacuum seal, I usually try and stick a knife under the lid or tap the lid a few times with a wooden spoon until it pops

Works every time unless there are beautiful single women present in which case it somehow embarrassingly won't work and you'll look like an idiot. So what you do in those situations is take a rubber band and wrap it around the lid before twisting it, you will not only appear clever but this will also prove how firm and manly your grip is to everyone present, sometimes even the men.

Thanks for the tip. I've always felt when women ask you to open a jar they really want to see if you're the right man for them and can satisfy all their needs.

[greenmark]

I've spent my entire life opening jars for women, but for the first time ever, I've got a fat jar of jalapenos that I can't open!

My natural instinct was to reach for my toolbox but the jar's too wide for mole grips. Smashing the jar open or drilling through the top would be a health hazard and contaminate the jalapenos.

As a professional jar opener my advice would be to just pop the tight vacuum seal, I usually try and stick a knife under the lid or tap the lid a few times with a wooden spoon until it pops

Works every time unless there are beautiful single women present in which case it somehow embarrassingly won't work and you'll look like an idiot. So what you do in those situations is take a rubber band and wrap it around the lid before twisting it, you will not only appear clever but this will also prove how firm and manly your grip is to everyone present, sometimes even the men.

Thanks for the tip. I've always felt when women ask you to open a jar they really want to see if you're the right man for them and can satisfy all their needs.

Or perhaps they see you as a jar-opener.

[Trader Pat]

I've spent my entire life opening jars for women, but for the first time ever, I've got a fat jar of jalapenos that I can't open!

My natural instinct was to reach for my toolbox but the jar's too wide for mole grips. Smashing the jar open or drilling through the top would be a health hazard and contaminate the jalapenos.

As a professional jar opener my advice would be to just pop the tight vacuum seal, I usually try and stick a knife under the lid or tap the lid a few times with a wooden spoon until it pops

Works every time unless there are beautiful single women present in which case it somehow embarrassingly won't work and you'll look like an idiot. So what you do in those situations is take a rubber band and wrap it around the lid before twisting it, you will not only appear clever but this will also prove how firm and manly your grip is to everyone present, sometimes even the men.

Thanks for the tip. I've always felt when women ask you to open a jar they really want to see if you're the right man for them and can satisfy all their needs.

I'll be sure to flick through the Kama Sutra later on to see what position requires the ability to open a jar

[Derek27]

The Porto v Braga match seemed missing from the market list, but after spending some time investigating I discovered it's in Portugal, which is near but not in Spain.

[Kai]

The Porto v Braga match seemed missing from the market list, but after spending some time investigating I discovered it's in Portugal, which is near but not in Spain.

Can confirm that Portugal is indeed in fact not in Spain Well spotted!!

[Derek27]

The Porto v Braga match seemed missing from the market list, but after spending some time investigating I discovered it's in Portugal, which is near but not in Spain.

Can confirm that Portugal is indeed in fact not in Spain Well spotted!!

That Russian bird I met last Christmas day spoke five different languages. I really impressed her by not only knowing that Latvian isn't the same as Lithuanian, I knew exactly where those countries are.

[Kai]

The Porto v Braga match seemed missing from the market list, but after spending some time investigating I discovered it's in Portugal, which is near but not in Spain.

Can confirm that Portugal is indeed in fact not in Spain Well spotted!!

That Russian bird I met last Christmas day spoke five different languages. I really impressed her by not only knowing that Latvian isn't the same as Lithuanian, I knew exactly where those countries are.

A dazzling display of geography You seem to be excellent at telling things apart! I still don't know the difference between Slovenia and Slovakia.

[Kai]

The Porto v Braga match seemed missing from the market list, but after spending some time investigating I discovered it's in Portugal, which is near but not in Spain.

Same thing happened to me just yesterday.

The Cheltenham races seemed missing from the greyhounds market list, but after spending the whole afternoon investigating I discovered they were in the horse racing section, which is similar but not the same.

[Derek27]

That bird from Dollar was really hot!

[Derek27]

I had a lovely roast beef sandwich yesterday but when I gave some to the cat, she sniffed it, turned her nose up, ate a few biscuits and buggered off outside! I had my diarrhoea tablets on standby, so it was quite a relief when she came back and scoffed the lot.

[Kai]

Was going to reply to the discord thread but I see it's locked now?

Anyway, not sure it's a good idea, wouldn't it have a negative impact on the dwindling forum activity?

I do use it regularly and many good traders made their own discord servers like Psychoff etc, but can't imagine people being familiar with it unless they were gaming with their friends. Not sure I'd be interested tbh, I could see privacy being an issue etc.

[Derek27]

Was going to reply to the discord thread but I see it's locked now?

Anyway, not sure it's a good idea, wouldn't it have a negative impact on the dwindling forum activity?

I do use it regularly and many good traders made their own discord servers like Psychoff etc, but can't imagine people being familiar with it unless they were gaming with their friends. Not sure I'd be interested tbh, I could see privacy being an issue etc.

I hope you've poured yourself a drink before posting here.

[Kai]

I hope you've poured yourself a drink before posting here.

[Kai]

JK