The beer garden

[Derek27]

Just unpacked my wardrobe flatpacks. Half an hour just to find the 40-page instruction manual.

[Derek27]

If I was to record one of those fast-motion videos of me assembling my wardrobe, it would probably be four hours long and still appear in slow motion. It's a case of putting two bits of wood together, fitting the screws, popping out for a fag, checking on my automation tests, and not being arsed to attach another bit of wood for half an hour.

[Derek27]

Haven't the COP26 delegates got anything better to do on a Saturday night?

[Realrocknrolla]

Haven't the COP26 delegates got anything better to do on a Saturday night?

I said that earlier.

Sick of the lame media at the minute. All climate change climate change.

[Derek27]

Haven't the COP26 delegates got anything better to do on a Saturday night?

I said that earlier.

Sick of the lame media at the minute. All climate change climate change.

I was only joking, it's really a serious issue. What I'm looking forward to is if/when fossil fuel is ditched and the world is totally green, what's Greta gonna complain about then.

[Derek27]

Drinking whilst trading has its benefits. I placed a bet on under 3.5 and forgot about it for 10 minutes.

[Derek27]

Drinking whilst trading has its benefits. I placed a bet on under 3.5 and forgot about it for 10 minutes.

Or maybe not. Just over staked on the under one more goal market before a goal went in.

[Derek27]

I've just dropped the world's very last remaining 3x16mm screw on my bedroom carpet, and it's vanished!!

[Derek27]

Had enough of DIY for the night, packed up all my tools, and found the screw in the process.

[Derek27]

Recycle bin was emptied this morning and I've already filled it up with my wardrobe packaging. WTF do I do with my beer bottles for the next two weeks?

[Trader Pat]

Recycle bin was emptied this morning and I've already filled it up with my wardrobe packaging. WTF do I do with my beer bottles for the next two weeks?

Surely that's obvious?

https://youtu.be/jVG2LQ2kA1Q

[Derek27]

Recycle bin was emptied this morning and I've already filled it up with my wardrobe packaging. WTF do I do with my beer bottles for the next two weeks?

Surely that's obvious?

https://youtu.be/jVG2LQ2kA1Q

I'd need a large orchestra.

[Derek27]

Just finished trading another boring 0-0 draw in Brazil, £0.00 profit. But on the plus side, Sky News have a new newsreader. They never disappoint.

[Derek27]

I'd love to be the waiter that spills red wine on BJ's suit and doesn't apologise.

[Derek27]

I love it when I finish wiping my arse with the very last sheet of a roll, satisfied with knowing I only have fresh unopened packs of bog roll.