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Where are all the jokes?
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burntheory
- Posts: 58
- Joined: Tue Sep 09, 2014 9:49 am
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wearthefoxhat
- Posts: 3221
- Joined: Sun Feb 18, 2018 9:55 am
I asked my date to meet me at the gym, but she never showed up. I guess the two of us aren’t going to work out.
Saw this after a couple of 8.6% beers - laughed until i stopped!
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wearthefoxhat
- Posts: 3221
- Joined: Sun Feb 18, 2018 9:55 am
A drum kit fell on my head last night. I’m now suffering from percussion.
Badoom Tish !wearthefoxhat wrote: ↑Thu May 05, 2022 12:05 pmA drum kit fell on my head last night. I’m now suffering from percussion.
A Polititician is on his way to the House of commons. His speech typed on 3 sheets of A4. On his way to the station he has a sudden urge to use the loo luckily there's a public one nearby. After relieving himself he realises there's no paper, in a panic he decides to use the last page of his speech. Once on the train he has the urge to use the loo. Again there's no paper and he's forced to use the 2nd page of his speech. He reaches Westminster as he's walking towards the house of commons he has to duck into a loo again and once more surprised to find there's no paper and he has to use the surviving sheet of his speech.
When his turn comes to address the house he says 'Mr speaker, members of the house I must comment on the state of the nation's public toilets, once again they leave me speechles!'
When his turn comes to address the house he says 'Mr speaker, members of the house I must comment on the state of the nation's public toilets, once again they leave me speechles!'
A Polititician is on his way to the House of commons. His speech typed on 3 sheets of A4. On his way to the station he has a sudden urge to use the loo luckily there's a public one nearby. After relieving himself he realises there's no paper, in a panic he decides to use the last page of his speech. Once on the train he again has the urge to use the loo. Again there's no paper and he's forced to use the 2nd page of his speech. He reaches Westminster as he's walking towards the house of commons he has to duck into a loo again and once more surprised to find there's no paper and he has to use the surviving sheet of his speech.
When his turn comes to address the house he says 'Mr speaker, members of the house I must comment on the state of the nation's public toilets, once again they leave me speechless!'
When his turn comes to address the house he says 'Mr speaker, members of the house I must comment on the state of the nation's public toilets, once again they leave me speechless!'
Last edited by ANGELS15 on Sat May 07, 2022 3:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
The second one I already heard before.Boris and Carrie Johnson visit a restaurant. A waiter approaches them.
Carrie: I'll have the sirloin steak.
Waiter: Certainly madam, and what about the accompanying vegetables.
Carrie: I'm just accompanied by one vegetable and he'll have the same.
Carrie: I'll have the sirloin steak.
Waiter: Certainly madam, and what about the accompanying vegetables.
Carrie: I'm just accompanied by one vegetable and he'll have the same.
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firlandsfarm
- Posts: 2720
- Joined: Sat May 03, 2014 8:20 am
Ah the old ones are the best (1985) ... just change the target to whoever you wish!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjE080TGEEk