Where are all the jokes?

Relax and chat about anything not covered elsewhere.
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paspuggie48
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Location: South-West

wearthefoxhat wrote:
Sun Sep 12, 2021 2:41 pm
I went to a fancy dress party last night as a caterpillar. Heaven knows what time I crawled back home.
:lol: :D 8-)
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Derek27
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Location: UK

paspuggie48 wrote:
Sun Sep 12, 2021 6:45 pm
wearthefoxhat wrote:
Sun Sep 12, 2021 2:41 pm
I went to a fancy dress party last night as a caterpillar. Heaven knows what time I crawled back home.
:lol: :D 8-)
Are you laughing at how funny the joke is or how bad? :)
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paspuggie48
Posts: 611
Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
Location: South-West

Derek27 wrote:
Sun Sep 12, 2021 7:06 pm
paspuggie48 wrote:
Sun Sep 12, 2021 6:45 pm
wearthefoxhat wrote:
Sun Sep 12, 2021 2:41 pm
I went to a fancy dress party last night as a caterpillar. Heaven knows what time I crawled back home.
:lol: :D 8-)
Are you laughing at how funny the joke is or how bad? :)
Oh the joke, it tickled me for sure !
eatyourgreens
Posts: 243
Joined: Sun Feb 18, 2018 12:53 am

two parrots are sitting on a perch, one says to the other "can you smell fish?"
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Derek27
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Location: UK

There's a tennis player called Bye. Absolutely useless, losses every match.
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paspuggie48
Posts: 611
Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
Location: South-West

I was pulled over by a cop.

He looked at my license and said "you're supposed to be wearing glasses".

I said, "I have contacts".

He said, "I don't care who you know..."
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wearthefoxhat
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Joined: Sun Feb 18, 2018 9:55 am

Went to buy some vanish to help with my washing. It had all gone.
sniffer66
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I was struggling for a fancy dress costume for last nights party so I went just in my Y Fronts

The host asked me what I'd come as. I replied, "premature ejaculation"

"Premature ejaculation ??"

"Yeah, I just came in my pants"
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Derek27
Posts: 23477
Joined: Wed Aug 30, 2017 11:44 am
Location: UK

sniffer66 wrote:
Fri Sep 17, 2021 3:46 pm
I was struggling for a fancy dress costume for last nights party so I went just in my Y Fronts

The host asked me what I'd come as. I replied, "premature ejaculation"

"Premature ejaculation ??"

"Yeah, I just came in my pants"
:lol:
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paspuggie48
Posts: 611
Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
Location: South-West

I recently entered the Weather Pun competition and beat the raining champion !!
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ANGELS15
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Joined: Wed Mar 22, 2017 9:57 am

Before viagra a man was having erectile problems. He tried all treatments without success. A friend reccomended a hypnotist. The guy saw the hypnotist who explained he would hypnotise him so that if he said or hear a beep noise he'd get an erection, to lose it he'd need to say or hear two beeps. The catch was that it would only work 3 times.

As the man left he thought 'this is bollocks', walking downstairs he shouted 'beep'. Immediately his dick was hard. The guy shouted 'beep beep', the erection went. As he went out in the street a little volkswagen cut in front of another car whose driver beeped once. The guy became hard again. The volkswagen driver beeped back twice in defiance.

The guy stuffed cotton wool in his ears and hurried home. As he entered the house he shouted to his wife 'quick get your clothes off!'. As she undresed the guy took out the cotton wool and shouted 'beep!', immediately his wife said 'whats this beep beep nonsense?'
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Kai
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Joined: Tue Jan 20, 2015 12:21 pm

Derek27 wrote:
Fri Sep 17, 2021 5:21 pm
sniffer66 wrote:
Fri Sep 17, 2021 3:46 pm
I was struggling for a fancy dress costume for last nights party so I went just in my Y Fronts

The host asked me what I'd come as. I replied, "premature ejaculation"

"Premature ejaculation ??"

"Yeah, I just came in my pants"
:lol:
Saw this on Twitter just now, took me a moment :)

Image
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paspuggie48
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Location: South-West

I’m thinking of starting a group for insomniacs, if anybody’s up for it?
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paspuggie48
Posts: 611
Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
Location: South-West

My dentist said my teeth were stained.

He asked, "Do you smoke or drink coffee?".

I said, "I drink it".
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paspuggie48
Posts: 611
Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
Location: South-West

My wife screamed "you haven't listened to a single word I've said, have you?!"

What a weird way to start a conversation, eh?
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