Where are all the jokes?
A penguin walks into a bar and asks the barman, "Has my brother been in here tonight?" "I don't know," says the barman, "What does he look like?"
A kangaroo hops into a bar and aks for a beer. The bar owner was so confused by a talking kangaroo that he just plucked the firat price that came into his head and charged the kangaroo $20. He thought he would get the kangaroo talking while his assistant rang the TV station, so he said "Ahh, we don't get many langaroos in here." "I'm not surprised," replied the kangaroo, "At $20 a beer."
A kangaroo hops into a bar and aks for a beer. The bar owner was so confused by a talking kangaroo that he just plucked the firat price that came into his head and charged the kangaroo $20. He thought he would get the kangaroo talking while his assistant rang the TV station, so he said "Ahh, we don't get many langaroos in here." "I'm not surprised," replied the kangaroo, "At $20 a beer."
A girl coming out of the church has hope in her soul
- paspuggie48
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- Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
- Location: South-West
My grandad broke his back so we used a skateboard to help brace it and keep it straight
After that he went downhill fast
My dad gave me advice that when things get tough, you need to fight fire with fire
That's probably why he lost his job as a fireman
After that he went downhill fast
My dad gave me advice that when things get tough, you need to fight fire with fire
That's probably why he lost his job as a fireman
- wearthefoxhat
- Posts: 3220
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When I buy a new TV, I always cover it in a thin layer of oil. I love it when there's a film on...
- paspuggie48
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- Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
- Location: South-West
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car..paspuggie48 wrote: ↑Mon May 31, 2021 12:49 pmMy dad was great too, although he died a year ago... but I will always remember his last words...
"F*CK ME A BUS!!"
- wearthefoxhat
- Posts: 3220
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My friend just told me, "I hope you die in a deep hole filled with water."
I know he means well.
I know he means well.
- paspuggie48
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- Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
- Location: South-West
Well, Well, Well the man said as he was falling down a 50ft hole !wearthefoxhat wrote: ↑Mon May 31, 2021 7:15 pmMy friend just told me, "I hope you die in a deep hole filled with water."
I know he means well.
- wearthefoxhat
- Posts: 3220
- Joined: Sun Feb 18, 2018 9:55 am
I used to get teased at school because I bore a slight resemblance to a bowl of custard, luckily I had a thick skin.
- paspuggie48
- Posts: 626
- Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
- Location: South-West
I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
- paspuggie48
- Posts: 626
- Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
- Location: South-West
Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"