A man with a plank on his head ?
Edward
A man with 3 planks on his head ?
Edward Woodward
Where are all the jokes?
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Realrocknrolla
- Posts: 1903
- Joined: Fri Jun 05, 2020 7:15 pm
Does anyone want a pack of dead batteries ?
They are free of charge
They are free of charge
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Realrocknrolla
- Posts: 1903
- Joined: Fri Jun 05, 2020 7:15 pm
It is just before Scotland v England in the Euro’s Group game.
Kane goes into the English changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit glum.
"What's up?" he asks.
"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Scotland. They're shite and we can't be bothered".
Kane looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat these by myself, you lads go down the pub."
So Kane goes out to play Scotland by himself and the rest of the English team go off for a few pints. After a few jars they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "England 1 - Scotland 0 (Kane 10minutes)". He is beating Scotland all by himself!
Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on". They put the teletext on.
"Result from the Stadium "England 1 (Kane 10 minutes) - Scotland 1"(Angus McShagnasty 89 minutes)".
They can't believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against Scotland!!
They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate him. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them.
"I've let you down, I've let you down."
"Don't be daft, you got a draw against Scotland , all by yourself. And they only scored at the very very end"
"No, No, I have, I've let you down...
I got sent off after 12 minutes"
CREDIT:
Sent to me by Puggsie
Kane goes into the English changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit glum.
"What's up?" he asks.
"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Scotland. They're shite and we can't be bothered".
Kane looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat these by myself, you lads go down the pub."
So Kane goes out to play Scotland by himself and the rest of the English team go off for a few pints. After a few jars they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "England 1 - Scotland 0 (Kane 10minutes)". He is beating Scotland all by himself!
Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on". They put the teletext on.
"Result from the Stadium "England 1 (Kane 10 minutes) - Scotland 1"(Angus McShagnasty 89 minutes)".
They can't believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against Scotland!!
They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate him. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them.
"I've let you down, I've let you down."
"Don't be daft, you got a draw against Scotland , all by yourself. And they only scored at the very very end"
"No, No, I have, I've let you down...
I got sent off after 12 minutes"
CREDIT:
Sent to me by Puggsie
even as a scot i found that funny (and almost TRUE!!).. lolRealrocknrolla wrote: ↑Fri Jun 18, 2021 2:58 pmIt is just before Scotland v England in the Euro’s Group game.
Kane goes into the English changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit glum.
"What's up?" he asks.
"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Scotland. They're shite and we can't be bothered".
Kane looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat these by myself, you lads go down the pub."
So Kane goes out to play Scotland by himself and the rest of the English team go off for a few pints. After a few jars they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "England 1 - Scotland 0 (Kane 10minutes)". He is beating Scotland all by himself!
Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on". They put the teletext on.
"Result from the Stadium "England 1 (Kane 10 minutes) - Scotland 1"(Angus McShagnasty 89 minutes)".
They can't believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against Scotland!!
They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate him. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them.
"I've let you down, I've let you down."
"Don't be daft, you got a draw against Scotland , all by yourself. And they only scored at the very very end"
"No, No, I have, I've let you down...
I got sent off after 12 minutes"
CREDIT:
Sent to me by Puggsie
That was goodRealrocknrolla wrote: ↑Fri Jun 18, 2021 2:58 pmIt is just before Scotland v England in the Euro’s Group game.
Kane goes into the English changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit glum.
"What's up?" he asks.
"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Scotland. They're shite and we can't be bothered".
Kane looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat these by myself, you lads go down the pub."
So Kane goes out to play Scotland by himself and the rest of the English team go off for a few pints. After a few jars they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "England 1 - Scotland 0 (Kane 10minutes)". He is beating Scotland all by himself!
Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on". They put the teletext on.
"Result from the Stadium "England 1 (Kane 10 minutes) - Scotland 1"(Angus McShagnasty 89 minutes)".
They can't believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against Scotland!!
They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate him. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them.
"I've let you down, I've let you down."
"Don't be daft, you got a draw against Scotland , all by yourself. And they only scored at the very very end"
"No, No, I have, I've let you down...
I got sent off after 12 minutes"
CREDIT:
Sent to me by Puggsie
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paspuggie48
- Posts: 633
- Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
- Location: South-West
LMAO..it was a gud'unRealrocknrolla wrote: ↑Fri Jun 18, 2021 2:58 pmIt is just before Scotland v England in the Euro’s Group game.
Kane goes into the English changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit glum.
"What's up?" he asks.
"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Scotland. They're shite and we can't be bothered".
Kane looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat these by myself, you lads go down the pub."
So Kane goes out to play Scotland by himself and the rest of the English team go off for a few pints. After a few jars they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "England 1 - Scotland 0 (Kane 10minutes)". He is beating Scotland all by himself!
Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on". They put the teletext on.
"Result from the Stadium "England 1 (Kane 10 minutes) - Scotland 1"(Angus McShagnasty 89 minutes)".
They can't believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against Scotland!!
They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate him. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them.
"I've let you down, I've let you down."
"Don't be daft, you got a draw against Scotland , all by yourself. And they only scored at the very very end"
"No, No, I have, I've let you down...
I got sent off after 12 minutes"
CREDIT:
Sent to me by Puggsie
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paspuggie48
- Posts: 633
- Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
- Location: South-West
So my dad just died because he needed blood and we didn’t know his blood type.
He was so brave and even tried to encourage us, the family around him, with his last breaths.
He kept whispering to us to Be Positive.
(sounds like the England game at the moment)
He was so brave and even tried to encourage us, the family around him, with his last breaths.
He kept whispering to us to Be Positive.
(sounds like the England game at the moment)
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paspuggie48
- Posts: 633
- Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
- Location: South-West
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wearthefoxhat
- Posts: 3221
- Joined: Sun Feb 18, 2018 9:55 am
People say shop-lifting is bad, but I don't buy it.
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paspuggie48
- Posts: 633
- Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
- Location: South-West
Ditto !
I'm sorry to admit but I LOVE stupid silly one liners like that...well done Tim Vine
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paspuggie48
- Posts: 633
- Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
- Location: South-West
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.
I gave him a glass of water.
I gave him a glass of water.