Where are all the jokes?

Relax and chat about anything not covered elsewhere.
Post Reply
agog
Posts: 55
Joined: Tue Aug 29, 2017 3:55 pm

I called on my Nan the other day. I asked 'What have you been up to today?'

'Weedin' the garden,' she replied.

Well, at least she didn't shit in it....
andy28
Posts: 344
Joined: Sat Jan 30, 2021 12:06 am
Location: NZ

Galilee66 wrote:
Wed Dec 08, 2021 3:58 am
A man suffered serious burns to the front of his legs when his barbecue exploded and was taken to hospital for treatment. The doctor examined him and told the nurse to give him a dose of viagra. "Will that cure the burns?" asked the nurse. "No" replied the doctor, "But it will keep the sheets off his legs for a couple of hours."
Viagra is also commonly used in rest homes as well, stops the old boys falling out out bed and breaking a hip
User avatar
wearthefoxhat
Posts: 3206
Joined: Sun Feb 18, 2018 9:55 am

I love eBay. I’ve sold my homing pigeons on it four times already this month.
User avatar
Realrocknrolla
Posts: 1903
Joined: Fri Jun 05, 2020 7:15 pm

Lads please put on your masks. It
saved a friend of mines life
yesterday. He was in a pub with his
girlfriend and his wife didn't
recognise him.
User avatar
Kai
Posts: 6092
Joined: Tue Jan 20, 2015 12:21 pm

wearthefoxhat wrote:
Sat Dec 11, 2021 8:33 am
I love eBay. I’ve sold my homing pigeons on it four times already this month.
pigeon* works better :D
User avatar
wearthefoxhat
Posts: 3206
Joined: Sun Feb 18, 2018 9:55 am

I’ve never understood the concept of a horizon. It’s completely beyond me.
User avatar
Realrocknrolla
Posts: 1903
Joined: Fri Jun 05, 2020 7:15 pm

I told my girlfriend that the milkman said he had shagged every woman in our building except one!!

“I bet it’s the snooty bitch at number twenty three,” she replied.
User avatar
Derek27
Posts: 23477
Joined: Wed Aug 30, 2017 11:44 am
Location: UK

Realrocknrolla wrote:
Tue Dec 14, 2021 7:16 pm
I told my girlfriend that the milkman said he had shagged every woman in our building except one!!

“I bet it’s the snooty bitch at number twenty three,” she replied.
:lol: :lol:
User avatar
Euler
Posts: 24701
Joined: Wed Nov 10, 2010 1:39 pm
Location: Bet Angel HQ

Realrocknrolla wrote:
Tue Dec 14, 2021 7:16 pm
I told my girlfriend that the milkman said he had shagged every woman in our building except one!!

“I bet it’s the snooty bitch at number twenty three,” she replied.
:lol:
User avatar
jimibt
Posts: 3641
Joined: Mon Nov 30, 2015 6:42 pm
Location: Narnia

I accidently swallowed some Scrabble tiles last night.

My next visit to the toilet could spell disaster...
User avatar
Realrocknrolla
Posts: 1903
Joined: Fri Jun 05, 2020 7:15 pm

I’ve been searching for my ex wife’s killer for the past two years.

No one is willing to do it.
User avatar
wearthefoxhat
Posts: 3206
Joined: Sun Feb 18, 2018 9:55 am

I've got a job in a salt and pepper factory over Christmas. It’s seasonal work.
sniffer66
Posts: 1666
Joined: Thu May 02, 2019 8:37 am

Epileptic Santa !

He seizures when you're sleeping.........
User avatar
wearthefoxhat
Posts: 3206
Joined: Sun Feb 18, 2018 9:55 am

According to my doctor, I'm paranoid. He didn't actually say I was - but I know that's what he was thinking.
goldfinch77
Posts: 196
Joined: Wed Aug 05, 2020 11:45 am

I bought a bottle of 20 year old malt the other day, it was way past its selby date.
Post Reply

Return to “Chill Out Area”