Where are all the jokes?
A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers' attention, he is yelling, "Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!" A pastor hears this and asks, "Why are you calling them 'dam fish.'" The boy responds, "Because I caught these fish at the local dam." The pastor buys a couple fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish. The wife responds surprised, "I didn't know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that way." He explains to her why they are dam fish. Later at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the dam fish. He responds, "That's the spirit, Dad! Now pass the f*cking potatoes!"
- wearthefoxhat
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I came last in an onion peeling competition yesterday. I had a feeling it would end in tears.
- paspuggie48
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- Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
- Location: South-West
A turkey is about to cross the road.
Suddenly a chicken appears and says, "don't do it man, you'll never hear the end of it."
Suddenly a chicken appears and says, "don't do it man, you'll never hear the end of it."
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- Location: Ballygarvan,Cork Ireland T12D2VR
- Contact:
Hi
Yeah the dog aint happy but you should have seen the wifes face
That link is maybe faulty. heres a screenshot version.
Yeah the dog aint happy but you should have seen the wifes face
That link is maybe faulty. heres a screenshot version.
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- wearthefoxhat
- Posts: 3205
- Joined: Sun Feb 18, 2018 9:55 am
The barmaid at our local pub has just had her nipple pierced. I really am useless at darts.
- paspuggie48
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- Location: South-West
Her: I'm leaving you!
Him: Is it because I act like I know everything?
Her: Yes!
Him: I knew it!
Him: Is it because I act like I know everything?
Her: Yes!
Him: I knew it!
- paspuggie48
- Posts: 611
- Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
- Location: South-West
I know this is a show-off message, but I had to share !
You work hard all your life and you are doing so well you can treat yourself right?
I can't express the happiness I'm feeling now...
White was the only colour available but it doesn't matter...
...I'm now the proud owner of these 4 chairs !!
You work hard all your life and you are doing so well you can treat yourself right?
I can't express the happiness I'm feeling now...
White was the only colour available but it doesn't matter...
...I'm now the proud owner of these 4 chairs !!
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- paspuggie48
- Posts: 611
- Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
- Location: South-West
Woke up this morning to find the missus wasn't in bed.
So I went downstairs to find a note she had stuck on the fridge door, saying "This isn't working. Goodbye."
But when I tried opened the door, it was working perfectly fine. I don't get it !
So I went downstairs to find a note she had stuck on the fridge door, saying "This isn't working. Goodbye."
But when I tried opened the door, it was working perfectly fine. I don't get it !
- paspuggie48
- Posts: 611
- Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
- Location: South-West
My wife left left me a couple of days ago. She said she was going out for milk and never came back.
My mate came round to console me and asked me how I was coping...
I said, "Not bad. I've been using some of that powdered stuff".
My mate came round to console me and asked me how I was coping...
I said, "Not bad. I've been using some of that powdered stuff".