Where are all the jokes?

Relax and chat about anything not covered elsewhere.
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paspuggie48
Posts: 611
Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
Location: South-West

Her: I'm leaving you!
Him: Is it because I act like I know everything?
Her: Yes!
Him: I knew it!
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Derek27
Posts: 23477
Joined: Wed Aug 30, 2017 11:44 am
Location: UK

sniffer66 wrote:
Thu Nov 18, 2021 12:51 pm
"Dad, why is my sister called Teresa ?".

"Cos it's an anagram of Easter and your Mum loves Easter".

"Thanks Dad".

"No problem, Alan"
That was posted further down the thread. :)
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paspuggie48
Posts: 611
Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
Location: South-West

I know this is a show-off message, but I had to share !

You work hard all your life and you are doing so well you can treat yourself right?

I can't express the happiness I'm feeling now...

White was the only colour available but it doesn't matter...

...I'm now the proud owner of these 4 chairs !!

Screenshot 2021-11-21 093528.png
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paspuggie48
Posts: 611
Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
Location: South-West

Woke up this morning to find the missus wasn't in bed.

So I went downstairs to find a note she had stuck on the fridge door, saying "This isn't working. Goodbye."

But when I tried opened the door, it was working perfectly fine. I don't get it !
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paspuggie48
Posts: 611
Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
Location: South-West

My wife left left me a couple of days ago. She said she was going out for milk and never came back.

My mate came round to console me and asked me how I was coping...

I said, "Not bad. I've been using some of that powdered stuff".
sniffer66
Posts: 1666
Joined: Thu May 02, 2019 8:37 am

Derek27 wrote:
Sat Nov 20, 2021 8:39 pm
sniffer66 wrote:
Thu Nov 18, 2021 12:51 pm
"Dad, why is my sister called Teresa ?".

"Cos it's an anagram of Easter and your Mum loves Easter".

"Thanks Dad".

"No problem, Alan"
That was posted further down the thread. :)
So good they posted it twice ;)
Korattt
Posts: 2405
Joined: Mon Dec 21, 2015 6:46 pm

got banned from B&Q, today some dickhead in an orange apron came up to me and asked if I wanted decking!!

I got the first punch in
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ANGELS15
Posts: 844
Joined: Wed Mar 22, 2017 9:57 am

Korattt wrote:
Sun Nov 21, 2021 3:34 pm
got banned from B&Q, today some dickhead in an orange apron came up to me and asked if I wanted decking!!

I got the first punch in
:lol:
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Derek27
Posts: 23477
Joined: Wed Aug 30, 2017 11:44 am
Location: UK

What a stupid question from Kay Burley: Why is Priti Patel not a moron?

How can anyone answer that? :lol:
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paspuggie48
Posts: 611
Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
Location: South-West

I bought a dog from a blacksmith the other day.

As soon as I brought him home, he made a bolt for the door.
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Derek27
Posts: 23477
Joined: Wed Aug 30, 2017 11:44 am
Location: UK

paspuggie48 wrote:
Thu Nov 25, 2021 6:22 pm
I bought a dog from a blacksmith the other day.

As soon as I brought him home, he made a bolt for the door.
Good one, by your usual standards. ;)
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paspuggie48
Posts: 611
Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
Location: South-West

Derek27 wrote:
Thu Nov 25, 2021 9:57 pm
paspuggie48 wrote:
Thu Nov 25, 2021 6:22 pm
I bought a dog from a blacksmith the other day.

As soon as I brought him home, he made a bolt for the door.
Good one, by your usual standards. ;)
Now Now..cheeky !!!
greenmark
Posts: 4948
Joined: Mon Jan 29, 2018 2:15 pm

paspuggie48 wrote:
Fri Nov 26, 2021 2:59 pm
Derek27 wrote:
Thu Nov 25, 2021 9:57 pm
paspuggie48 wrote:
Thu Nov 25, 2021 6:22 pm
I bought a dog from a blacksmith the other day.

As soon as I brought him home, he made a bolt for the door.
Good one, by your usual standards. ;)
Now Now..cheeky !!!
Keep going paspuggie48.
All comedians dare to fail.
You're doing pretty well and have prodded other comics on here to entertain the rest of us.
I salute you! :-)
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paspuggie48
Posts: 611
Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
Location: South-West

greenmark wrote:
Fri Nov 26, 2021 4:05 pm
paspuggie48 wrote:
Fri Nov 26, 2021 2:59 pm
Derek27 wrote:
Thu Nov 25, 2021 9:57 pm


Good one, by your usual standards. ;)
Now Now..cheeky !!!
Keep going paspuggie48.
All comedians dare to fail.
You're doing pretty well and have prodded other comics on here to entertain the rest of us.
I salute you! :-)
:D :) ;)
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paspuggie48
Posts: 611
Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
Location: South-West

“Ok Fred, Velma & Daphne. Name one of the big five game animals in Africa.”

“Rhino.”

“I know you do Scooby, but it’s not your turn.”
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