Where are all the jokes?

[paspuggie48]

I mean, really????

[bennyboy351]

I mean, really????

[ANGELS15]

General Custer and his men are in a fierce battle with the Sioux. Many of the men have been killed while all of the survivors have arrows in various limbs. General Custer however doesn't have a mark on him. One of the officers shouts 'General how have you managed to avoid getting shot with an arrow?' Custer replies 'What after-shave do you use?' The man says 'Brut'. Custer says 'I use Aramis'.

[Kai]

[Kai]

Damn, posted it in the wrong thread

[paspuggie48]

Medical Terms!!

Tumour: one plus one more
Urine: opposite of you're out
Enema: not a friend
Artery: the study of paintings
Terminal illness: getting sick at the airport
Dilate: to live a long time
Out-patient: a person who has fainted
Nitrates: cheaper than day rates
Medical staff: a doctors cane
Recovery room: place to do upholstery
Secretion: hiding something
Fibula: a small lie
Node: I knew it
Caesarean Section: a neighbourhood in Rome

[wearthefoxhat]

When I was a youngster I got hit by a meteorite. As you can imagine it made a big impression on me.

[paspuggie48]

When I was a youngster I got hit by a meteorite. As you can imagine it made a big impression on me.

[paspuggie48]

If you hear any good fish puns, let minnow.

[wearthefoxhat]

If you hear any good fish puns, let minnow.

Ahh, you’re Krill-ing me!

[Derek27]

I was salmonned to jury service.

[ANGELS15]

A man had two pet monkeys that he was very fond of. One day they were both killed in a tragic accident. The man was griefstricken. A friend of his noticing the state he was in suggested 'Instead of burying them why not get them stuffed so you can remember them forever?' The man brought them to a taxidermist who said 'Would you like them mounted?' The man says 'no just holding hands will do'.

[wearthefoxhat]

Those energy-saving light bulbs are nonsense - it takes just as long to change them as the old type.

[paspuggie48]

If you hear any good fish puns, let minnow.

Ahh, you’re Krill-ing me!

The obvious plaice for such quips !

[Korattt]

I went to the pub Saturday night, they had a Halloween Fancy Dress competition, my missus won it & she only came in to pick me up