LIFE HACK:
You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife's birthday.
Where are all the jokes?
- Realrocknrolla
- Posts: 1903
- Joined: Fri Jun 05, 2020 7:15 pm
I wake up at around 7am to hear this pounding at my door as if it’s about to cave in
So I open the door and I see this 6ft cockroach. Before I can even ask him how’s he doing he picks me up and flings me across the hallway of my house. Moving at rapid speed he’s got me in a headlock and delivers some devastating punches. I’m gutted to say I passed out from the sheer pain. Next day when I came to I popped to the doctor to make sure no lasting damage had been done. Doctor sees me and asks what’s happened because I’m absolutely ragged with a black eye and severe bruising so I tell him about the cockroach. Doctor then says ‘oh yeah you want to be careful mate. There’s a nasty bug going about’.
So I open the door and I see this 6ft cockroach. Before I can even ask him how’s he doing he picks me up and flings me across the hallway of my house. Moving at rapid speed he’s got me in a headlock and delivers some devastating punches. I’m gutted to say I passed out from the sheer pain. Next day when I came to I popped to the doctor to make sure no lasting damage had been done. Doctor sees me and asks what’s happened because I’m absolutely ragged with a black eye and severe bruising so I tell him about the cockroach. Doctor then says ‘oh yeah you want to be careful mate. There’s a nasty bug going about’.
- paspuggie48
- Posts: 622
- Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
- Location: South-West
Bet he was one of those 24 hour bugs !Realrocknrolla wrote: ↑Thu Oct 07, 2021 7:33 pmI wake up at around 7am to hear this pounding at my door as if it’s about to cave in
So I open the door and I see this 6ft cockroach. Before I can even ask him how’s he doing he picks me up and flings me across the hallway of my house. Moving at rapid speed he’s got me in a headlock and delivers some devastating punches. I’m gutted to say I passed out from the sheer pain. Next day when I came to I popped to the doctor to make sure no lasting damage had been done. Doctor sees me and asks what’s happened because I’m absolutely ragged with a black eye and severe bruising so I tell him about the cockroach. Doctor then says ‘oh yeah you want to be careful mate. There’s a nasty bug going about’.
- Realrocknrolla
- Posts: 1903
- Joined: Fri Jun 05, 2020 7:15 pm
paspuggie48 wrote: ↑Thu Oct 07, 2021 7:37 pmBet he was one of those 24 hour bugs !Realrocknrolla wrote: ↑Thu Oct 07, 2021 7:33 pmI wake up at around 7am to hear this pounding at my door as if it’s about to cave in
So I open the door and I see this 6ft cockroach. Before I can even ask him how’s he doing he picks me up and flings me across the hallway of my house. Moving at rapid speed he’s got me in a headlock and delivers some devastating punches. I’m gutted to say I passed out from the sheer pain. Next day when I came to I popped to the doctor to make sure no lasting damage had been done. Doctor sees me and asks what’s happened because I’m absolutely ragged with a black eye and severe bruising so I tell him about the cockroach. Doctor then says ‘oh yeah you want to be careful mate. There’s a nasty bug going about’.
Which reminds me...
Many people are surprised how good Iberian tattoo artists are when they holiday there.
No-one expects the Spanish Ink Precision.
- wearthefoxhat
- Posts: 3219
- Joined: Sun Feb 18, 2018 9:55 am
I’ve stopped taking abseiling lessons. My instructor kept letting me down.
- paspuggie48
- Posts: 622
- Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
- Location: South-West
wearthefoxhat wrote: ↑Sat Oct 09, 2021 2:32 pmI’ve stopped taking abseiling lessons. My instructor kept letting me down.
- paspuggie48
- Posts: 622
- Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
- Location: South-West
I once sat next to Tina Turner at a tennis tournament !
I don't think she understood the scoring system. She kept asking, “What’s love got to do with it?”
I don't think she understood the scoring system. She kept asking, “What’s love got to do with it?”
- paspuggie48
- Posts: 622
- Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
- Location: South-West
So I took the missus to a really trendy nightclub last night.
The doorman said to her, "Sorry ma’am, I can’t let you in, you've had too many !"
She said, "What, drinks?"
He said, "No, birthdays !"
The doorman said to her, "Sorry ma’am, I can’t let you in, you've had too many !"
She said, "What, drinks?"
He said, "No, birthdays !"
- paspuggie48
- Posts: 622
- Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
- Location: South-West
My obese parrot died yesterday...
It is sad...but it is a huge weight off my shoulders !
It is sad...but it is a huge weight off my shoulders !
I just told that in the car. Got a good laughpaspuggie48 wrote: ↑Sun Oct 10, 2021 8:23 amMy obese parrot died yesterday...
It is sad...but it is a huge weight off my shoulders !
- paspuggie48
- Posts: 622
- Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
- Location: South-West
sniffer66 wrote: ↑Sun Oct 10, 2021 11:10 amI just told that in the car. Got a good laughpaspuggie48 wrote: ↑Sun Oct 10, 2021 8:23 amMy obese parrot died yesterday...
It is sad...but it is a huge weight off my shoulders !
- paspuggie48
- Posts: 622
- Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
- Location: South-West
My daughter got tattoos of a heart, a spade, a club and a diamond, against my wishes.
...I'll deal with her later !
...I'll deal with her later !