Where are all the jokes?

Relax and chat about anything not covered elsewhere.
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jimibt
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Location: Narnia

Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.
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Euler
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Location: Bet Angel HQ

My mates 4 year old son is learning Spanish at nursery. He doesn’t know the Spanish word for “please” yet, which I think is poor for four.
sniffer66
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Which reminds me....

Many people are shocked by how good Catalan tattoo artists are.

No-one expects the Spanish Ink Precision
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paspuggie48
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Derek27 wrote:
Mon Jul 19, 2021 7:07 pm
paspuggie48 wrote:
Mon Jul 19, 2021 6:48 pm
My mate is in trouble...he told his wife he was going out to get some thread but actually has gone to the pub...she will kill him

Gone but not for cotton
That is a terrible joke. :lol:
Is this any better Derek?

I accidentally drank a bottle of invisible ink...
I'm currently in casualty waiting to be seen !
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paspuggie48
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Location: South-West

I was in A&E earlier and there was this bloke with a wound on his head...

He told me he had been hit with a piece of coal...

The nurse said it was just a miner injury !
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Derek27
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paspuggie48 wrote:
Wed Jul 21, 2021 10:05 pm
Derek27 wrote:
Mon Jul 19, 2021 7:07 pm
paspuggie48 wrote:
Mon Jul 19, 2021 6:48 pm
My mate is in trouble...he told his wife he was going out to get some thread but actually has gone to the pub...she will kill him

Gone but not for cotton
That is a terrible joke. :lol:
Is this any better Derek?

I accidentally drank a bottle of invisible ink...
I'm currently in casualty waiting to be seen !
Yes, I found that one moderately amusing. But any more of the thread/cotton jokes and the moderators will be moving them to the bad jokes thread. :)
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paspuggie48
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Location: South-West

Derek27 wrote:
Wed Jul 21, 2021 10:22 pm
paspuggie48 wrote:
Wed Jul 21, 2021 10:05 pm
Derek27 wrote:
Mon Jul 19, 2021 7:07 pm

That is a terrible joke. :lol:
Is this any better Derek?

I accidentally drank a bottle of invisible ink...
I'm currently in casualty waiting to be seen !
Yes, I found that one moderately amusing. But any more of the thread/cotton jokes and the moderators will be moving them to the bad jokes thread. :)
They're all in bed :D :lol: :)
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paspuggie48
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I once went on a drinking session with Thor...
We got hammered !
sniffer66
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Why did the Mexican throw his wife off a cliff ?

Tequila !
sniffer66
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What's the worlds fastest cake ?

Scone

(If you pronounce it correctly ;) )
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ANGELS15
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One day a man is having intestinal problems and has been frequently farting. He decides to pop down to his local walk in nhs centre. As he's walking to it he occasionally farts. He arrives at the centre. When it's his turn to see the doctor, he goes through into the surgery and the doctor asks 'whats the problem?' The man says 'doctor I can't stop farting' letting out a thunderous fart as he does so.

The doctor grabs a small pole with a little hook on the end. The man shouts out 'what are you going to do with that?' 'Open the window' says the doctor 'it stinks in here!'.
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paspuggie48
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Mind Controlled Air Freshener…

Makes Scents If you think about it….
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paspuggie48
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WIFE: I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear.

HUSBAND: Kitchen, Living room, Bathroom.
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wearthefoxhat
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I had a go at ‘blindfold archery’ this week. If you haven’t tried it, you don’t know what you’re missing.
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