RANT CORNER

[Realrocknrolla]

I've had to smoke another brand (the tit was going to give me mentholated cigs), but the way the lorry driver shortage is going, we might all have to give up smoking, and drinking. Petrol shortage as well but at least there won't be many drunk drivers on the road.

32 Pint Homebrew Beer Making Starter Kit - St Peters IPA, Home Brew Microbrewery https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00PY7TLOK/ ... HQCBXFETEJ

I've made a decent stout from a can of extract before but lager is quite difficult to make at home. The commercial brewers carbonate it by saturating it with carbon dioxide under pressure - can't be done at home. Besides, we're running out of carbon dioxide!

Fuck….

https://www.coop.co.uk/funeralcare/funeral-plans

[Derek27]

Fuck….

https://www.coop.co.uk/funeralcare/funeral-plans

How much would it cost if I offered my body to a dog food manufacturer, or would they pay me for it while I'm still alive?

[Realrocknrolla]

Fuck….

https://www.coop.co.uk/funeralcare/funeral-plans

How much would it cost if I offered my body to a dog food manufacturer, or would they pay me for it while I'm still alive?

I’m sire there are more preferred establishments for you to offer ya body too.

Opposite of a happy ending

[Derek27]

Wasn't worth taking the day off for two hours of sunshine. Sky covered in cloud now but even if it wasn't the sun's about to go down.

I left an automation test running on today's crap soccer while I'm out in the garden and this is all I get.

Capture.PNG

[Derek27]

If you're gonna sell cigarettes you should be properly trained for the job or at least know the difference between reds, blues and greens. Being a non-smoker is no flipping excuse!

I've just bought some cigarettes off a woman who really knows her stuff. Apparently, sky-blue is the equivalent of purple! I should have asked her out, she could teach me a few things.

[wearthefoxhat]

Looking out from my bathroom window, the panic buying for petrol is crazy.

panic.png

[Derek27]

Three-minute shower tonight, forgot to unblock the plughole.

[greenmark]

Sipping vodka and tonic is superior to inhaling it.

[Derek27]

Has anyone seen the latest Ladbrokes Casino advert with about 200 people chasing a balloon? How much does it cost to pay that many people?

Instead of cracking down on people who deposit more than £100 into a gambling account, perhaps it's time the Gambling Commission check whether the operators are fully in control of how much they spend on advertising!

Stupid advert anyway.

[jimibt]

Has anyone seen the latest Ladbrokes Casino advert with about 200 people chasing a balloon? How much does it cost to pay that many people?

Instead of cracking down on people who deposit more than £100 into a gambling account, perhaps it's time the Gambling Commission check whether the operators are fully in control of how much they spend on advertising!

Stupid advert anyway.

the ballon is a metaphor for their losses (or the single opportunity for any of the 200 to win anything) -

[Derek27]

Managed to match £4 on under 4.5 market before 2 goals went in in the first 4 minutes, so all I get is £2 and a flipping earache from the Bolivian commentator.

[Derek27]

I've just seen an advert for a security light that looks like a camera and will fool burglars into thinking they're being watched. Great idea, problem is the wallies have advertised it on national TV so all the burglars will know.

[Derek27]

What the hell is the point in covering you face before going into court when your name's Katy Price.

[Derek27]

I just rejected a beer delivery that was substituted. Now I've checked the email it was 440ml cans instead of 330ml bottles for the same price!

[Derek27]

BREAKING NEWS: Transgender persons have an unfair advantage in women's sport!