The beer garden

[Derek27]

I'm having a working evening tonight. Bring your own booze.

[Derek27]

Just staggered out of my toilet and into the living room and thought, who's that nice looking blonde on the TV. It turned out to be Howard Jones.

[Kai]

I keep opening a can of beer, taking a sip, putting it down, and the next time I look for it it's disappeared!!

Probably just the cat trying to tell you something

[rostov]

Kammy.png

[Derek27]

At least BJ won't be lying in Cumbria.

World's Biggest Liar is an annual competition for telling lies, held in Cumbria, England. Competitors from around the world have five minutes to tell the biggest and most convincing lie they can.[1] Competition rules bar the use of props or scripts. Politicians and lawyers are not allowed to enter the competition, because "they are judged to be too skilled at telling porkies".[2]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World%27s_Biggest_Liar

[Derek27]

Prince Andrew's legal team are arguing that Virginia Giuffre is suffering from false memory. Sounds quite a desperate defence to me considering there's a photograph of them together and he has no recollection of ever meeting her.

Edit: The Daily Mirror has taken the same line.

[Derek27]

How time flies when you're enjoying yourself......or just drinking. I thought it was about two in the morning.

[Derek27]

Just realised I haven't eaten for 14 hours. I'll skip the AO for chicken madras.

[Derek27]

If there was a 'hands up, I'm a dickhead' thread on this forum, I'd be the first poster!

Run out of beer whilst cooking my chicken Madras, resorted to a bottle of white wine. Spent 5 minutes trying to remove what looked like a seal around the bottle cap. It turned out to be just a pattern around the bottle cap, which simply twists off if you turn it anti-clockwise.

[Derek27]

Am I using the wrong glass, or do you only get 3 glassfuls out of a bottle of wine?

[Crazyskier]

Am I using the wrong glass, or do you only get 3 glassfuls out of a bottle of wine?

Assuming a typical 750ml bottle, then three large at 250ml each, yes. The smaller 185ml glasses one can buy would allow 4 glasses and a dribble.

CS

[Derek27]

I was wondering when I came in after a cigarette, what that awful smell is in my living room. Quickly realised it was my plug-in air freshener.

[Derek27]

Dickhead neighbour just tried to start a conversation with me from his window, 30 metres away, at 3 in the morning! And all I could shout is what??

[Derek27]

The excessive consumption of alcohol is not appropriate in a professional workplace at any time. Steps must be taken to ensure that every Government Department has a clear and robust policy in place covering the consumption of alcohol in the workplace.

Traders only BJ.

[Derek27]

You can download the 12-page report from the Guardian.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/202 ... et-parties