I recently found out I was adopted as a child by a man called Daz…
He’s my non-biological father.
Where are all the jokes?
- wearthefoxhat
- Posts: 3221
- Joined: Sun Feb 18, 2018 9:55 am
I used to work at a cats home, but I had to leave, they reduced meowers...
I really didn't want to but that made me laughwearthefoxhat wrote: ↑Sat Sep 17, 2022 9:19 amI used to work at a cats home, but I had to leave, they reduced meowers...
Storing that one in my dad joke vault
- Dublin_Flyer
- Posts: 692
- Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2012 10:39 am
The guy who invented throat lozenges died this week. There was no coffin at his funeral.
- wearthefoxhat
- Posts: 3221
- Joined: Sun Feb 18, 2018 9:55 am
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at 10 Downing Street. One is from up North another is from Poland, and the third is a Tory Party Donor. All three go with a Tory Party official to examine the fence.
The contractor from up north takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about £9000. £4000 for materials, £4000 for my crew, and £1000 profit for me."
The Polish contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for £7000. £3000 for materials, £3000 for my crew, and £1000 profit for me."
The Tory party donor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the Tory Party official and whispers, "£27,000."
The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
The Tory Donor whispers back, "£10,000 for me, £10,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Poland to fix the fence."
"Done!" replies the Tory party official.
The contractor from up north takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about £9000. £4000 for materials, £4000 for my crew, and £1000 profit for me."
The Polish contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for £7000. £3000 for materials, £3000 for my crew, and £1000 profit for me."
The Tory party donor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the Tory Party official and whispers, "£27,000."
The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
The Tory Donor whispers back, "£10,000 for me, £10,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Poland to fix the fence."
"Done!" replies the Tory party official.