Looking for love and friendship..... kindof

[youngadam]

Hello,

Long time lingerer and long time wanna be pre-race trader here.

Youngadam is my name here except im not young.

Right. Ive been invested in this for about 8 years now. Im not trying to be clever but i dont think i am at newbie level. I have done all the usual reading, videos etc etc over the years blah blah blah. Usual boom and bust scenario of doing ok and then kicking myself very hard in the balls with self sabotage. Basically going inplay to recover a £1.17 loss and losing £50. Hate and loathing follows and i lose my confidence.

I also live in the south of France (do not get excited here - not as exciting as it sounds) moved with my french partner and daughter after she had enough of the weather in Scotland. I have decent work hours which gets me home by 13.00 so i have my afternoons free to live/ learn/trade etc....

I therefore pay monthly for a VPS through Bet Angel which has been great but not cheap.

At the beginning of April, i stacked a full float (70 quid) and constructed spreadsheets to log results (my computer skills are fair to basic) and off i went. Was feeling really good as the month went on, small stakes and had told myself this would be the case for the next 18 months at least as i continued to make notes, journal etc.

Then obviously yesterday i made a mistake and lost £6. I know not to go inplay to recover losses . I thought i had dealt with this weakness. i went inplay. And lost £135. Bank back to £50.
I felt rather bad. Anger anger anger that i had been so stupid blah blah blah and so annoyed at being such a fool. I have attached my Betfair p and l for laughs. Well not for laughs - basically to show that i was doing ok, following my plan and onwards. Take off yesterdays nonsense of the £135 and the £6 that started it and i would have been almost 100 up for the month.

Again, I know profit and money is not the priority here but it is a small positive....

So what the hell do i want? well nothing really. my edge shows itself slowly, lightbulb moments have happened and i know that there aint no holy grail. I just find it a bit lonely down here in the south of France..... Its a very lonely game this trading and mindset is so so important. if anyone wants to be my friend and spread love and joy on this long lonely road i would be more than grateful .

Shout out to all you cool kats out there over the years. Mr Euler obviously, Dallas, Jolly Green, Koratt, Kai and of course Goat68 off the top of my head. Please dont get upset at my short list - you are all in my thoughts and i stand in awe in front of every one of you.

Be kind but honest i can take it

Alors. Bon dimanche et je vous aime tous xxx

(not) Youngadam

[Fugazi]

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

You have picked a shit job to facilitate this. You are missing out on life.

[youngadam]

Ooookay... Thanks Fugazi. I appreciate you taking the time to reply.

If i changed the 'shit' to 'not the ideal' job due to the fact that my french is not perfect am i still missing out on life?

I still manage to paddle board at the beach with my daughter if that counts to adding to my life highlights.

Find it strange that you zeroed in on that but again i thank you for your words.

[Fugazi]

Ooookay... Thanks Fugazi. I appreciate you taking the time to reply.

If i changed the 'shit' to 'not the ideal' job due to the fact that my french is not perfect am i still missing out on life?

I still manage to paddle board at the beach with my daughter if that counts to adding to my life highlights.

Find it strange that you zeroed in on that but again i thank you for your words.

I think the question I'm getting at, is are you picking a less than ideal job primarily to facilitate doing more with your family, or to facilitate the trading?

This comes from some personal experience of focusing too much on making money trading, trying the same things over and over wasting hours of my time after work. . I realised it was exhausting and not productive trying to spend 5 hours on something whilst working fulltime, when I could have actually achieved more in an hour a day or less and not had to sacrifice anything.

It took me a while to realise I was trying to rush to success and leave my job, rather then enjoying my job and having a nice little side hobby that will grow over time. Mentally much less stressful going for the latter.

[Crumpets]

I think going in-play is less of a weakness or bad habit. I'd say it's more of a symptom; you lack confidence in your ability to reliably take money from the market.
You say you have an edge, but i feel as if you don't fully trust it.

You said it yourself, that money/profits don't matter at your stage. But again chasing after a tiny loss tells me that profits/money are still at the forefront of your thinking.

Perhaps experiment trading without a profit column? That really helped me to detach my performance from the emotion of money. Also remember that even with a distinct edge, trading is 90% execution. Heck, sound execution is a considerable edge on its own.

And congrats on moving to the South of France. I wish I could make it down to the beach in my free time

[The Silk Run]

You have all the love and support from me youngadam. Lovely opening post which we can all relate to.

Add me to your fan base
Minnie LAI

[The Silk Run]

Revisit JollyGreen's content. I personally learnt a lot when I first joined the community because of his inspirational workings ....

[Safeway]

Hi Adam,
I'm with Silky.....that was a great post and it's a pity we don't have more open and relatable posts like that.
I work. Sometimes it tires me but it refreshes and exercises me too and I wouldn't want to stop. I think I would become very stale if I were at a screen trading all day but maybe one day I will. Perhaps it would be OK if I could get some walking, fresh air and sun on my face every now and then.
I don't trade pre-race. I hate the ladder but I love the Dutching and Bookmaking functionality and am trying to make friends with TPD. I have certainly made the mistake of which you speak a few times when I haven't matched the full book It's a simple matter of discipline and there's nothing else to be read from that.
Everything is personal. We know where this thing fits in our lives.....if it does. We're all different. Some people don't understand that.
I wish you the greatest success with the trading and look forward to reading your updates.

[Fugazi]

Hi Adam,
I'm with Silky.....that was a great post and it's a pity we don't have more open and relatable posts like that.
I work. Sometimes it tires me but it refreshes and exercises me too and I wouldn't want to stop. I think I would become very stale if I were at a screen trading all day but maybe one day I will. Perhaps it would be OK if I could get some walking, fresh air and sun on my face every now and then.
I don't trade pre-race. I hate the ladder but I love the Dutching and Bookmaking functionality and am trying to make friends with TPD. I have certainly made the mistake of which you speak a few times when I haven't matched the full book It's a simple matter of discipline and there's nothing else to be read from that.
Everything is personal. We know where this thing fits in our lives.....if it does. We're all different. Some people don't understand that.
I wish you the greatest success with the trading and look forward to reading your updates.

Im curious about the bookmaking as Ive had a small dabble with it successfully but my attention is on greyhounds currently

Do you target specific markets, or rather specific book percentages as a marker to get involved ?

[Kai]

Hello,

Long time lingerer and long time wanna be pre-race trader here.

I sympathize with your plight OP, if a man cannot create a relatable post after an outsized loss when can he really?

Not much to say what you wouldn't already know, save for a few words of encouragement.

Indeed, there are some very low lows when trading and the market is brutally honest at times, but the more hits you take the thicker your skin should be. Trading around your emotions is always hard, it's most likely your ultimate test, you see so many try to distance themselves by going the auto route.

But... shouldn't underestimate an outsized loss when it happens, it can impact your mental without you being aware of it, and it ranges from a minor annoyance to a bank-blowing tilt. The immediate urge will be to chase it down further as the outsized loss triggers your flight-or-flight response and you throw away your trading plan to compound the risk further all in a desperate bid to go back to even... but, at the same time you shouldn't be too hard on yourself either. It's easy to forget these types of lessons when they are too far apart.

You see a lot of people try their luck preoff but most don't even seem to enjoy the speculating part or fully embrace the speculative nature of the market, they usually just end up trying to shave off a few ticks here and there. But when you start relying on regular smaller profits and then get hit with the inevitable outsized loss it feels that much harder to accept.

Hopefully you keep going, but I would make sure I actually enjoyed the market and what it offers. If not, there's plenty of other markets.

[Kai]

It's a simple matter of discipline and there's nothing else to be read from that.

I think it's all about building a mindset where it doesn't even cross your mind, let alone consider doing it, because it's simply not part of the strategy.

I think you also learn to suppress these loss chasing urges (which by now I assume vary in strength from person to person).

I know people like to see and define progress as linear, like a nice steady daily P&L, but trading is also about highs and lows, and 'progress' could very well mean facing difficult markets or situations and persevering. Doesn't look pretty on the P&L and it appears like a giant step back, but maybe it's quite the opposite.

What people never want to hear is that if they experience a catastrophic event in the market it probably happened for a valid reason, like Klopp would say "a lesson they didn't want, but needed." Had plenty of those myself and probably plenty more to come, you never really stop learning.

[henbet22]

Outsized loss. Outsized win. Lots of winning in a row. Lots of losing in a row. It can all lead to bank wrecking loss of control imo. The +4.38 may have led to the -5.88 which may have led to the bank wrecker. Use a servant to get you out if you go above a liability level or go in play. Enjoy the south of France.

[Oscar]

Hi Adam, and Welcome!

This is my second time of writing as my first attempt etherized.

I also lived and worked in the south of France, for five years. I lived there with my partner, he worked in Italy and I, in Menton, France. I'm sure you'll be familiar with this area.

I also moved directly from Scotland, where it rained every day , all day. Two years was enough for me.
I drove across the French Italian border every day to go to work. It's a beautiful place and I found the people especially spontaneous and accepting.

Do you need to rely on your trading income? I imagine that could be very stressful, especially as you have a daughter.
Have you made any of your "own" French friends? They can be very warm and inclusive once you get to know them.

I'd help you if I could, but I'm not very advanced. I just enjoy the challenge of in running horse racing. I sometimes question the purpose of continuing, but hey, life's not that serious, and I'm not using my capital.

I hope you can find inspiration from comments on here.

Btw, I do know someone who moved from here to France quite a few years ago and he just goes around cleaning people's swimming pools. Worth considering.

All the best,

Jackie

[Fugazi]

Hi Adam, and Welcome!

This is my second time of writing as my first attempt etherized.

I also lived and worked in the south of France, for five years. I lived there with my partner, he worked in Italy and I, in Menton, France. I'm sure you'll be familiar with this area.

I also moved directly from Scotland, where it rained every day , all day. Two years was enough for me.
I drove across the French Italian border every day to go to work. It's a beautiful place and I found the people especially spontaneous and accepting.

Do you need to rely on your trading income? I imagine that could be very stressful, especially as you have a daughter.
Have you made any of your "own" French friends? They can be very warm and inclusive once you get to know them.

I'd help you if I could, but I'm not very advanced. I just enjoy the challenge of in running horse racing. I sometimes question the purpose of continuing, but hey, life's not that serious, and I'm not using my capital.

I hope you can find inspiration from comments on here.

Btw, I do know someone who moved from here to France quite a few years ago and he just goes around cleaning people's swimming pools. Worth considering.

All the best,

Jackie

I mean Im in South West England so infinitely better weather than Scotland.

But even so, I often wonder if I should escape the winters here one day. I dont mind the cold just cant stand the constant grey days. Even if it was just a few hours sun a day in winter.

[Anbell]

Dallas has a safety bot that will clean up the book if you go in play. You could use that to over-rule your emotions.