A new mummy has been discovered in Egypt and its covered in chocolate and nuts
Archaeologists believe it may be the remains of Pharaoh Rocher
Where are all the jokes?
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paspuggie48
- Posts: 638
- Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
- Location: South-West
Trader Pat wrote: ↑Sat Jun 26, 2021 5:41 pmA new mummy has been discovered in Egypt and its covered in chocolate and nuts
Archaeologists believe it may be the remains of Pharaoh Rocher
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paspuggie48
- Posts: 638
- Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
- Location: South-West
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus !!!
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus !!!
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paspuggie48
- Posts: 638
- Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
- Location: South-West
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.
“Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.”
“Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.”
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wearthefoxhat
- Posts: 3221
- Joined: Sun Feb 18, 2018 9:55 am
Appearing in court today was a thief that stole a lorry of elastic bands. The judge sent him down for a long stretch.
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paspuggie48
- Posts: 638
- Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am
- Location: South-West
It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there.
"No"’ says the neighbour. "The seat is empty."
"This is incredible"’ said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?"
The neighbour says, "Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married."
"Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible….But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbour to take her seat?"
The man shakes his head. "No," he says. "They’re all at the funeral."
"No"’ says the neighbour. "The seat is empty."
"This is incredible"’ said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?"
The neighbour says, "Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married."
"Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible….But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbour to take her seat?"
The man shakes his head. "No," he says. "They’re all at the funeral."
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Trader Pat
- Posts: 4327
- Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2016 12:50 pm
paspuggie48 wrote: ↑Mon Jul 05, 2021 7:02 pmIt’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there.
"No"’ says the neighbour. "The seat is empty."
"This is incredible"’ said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?"
The neighbour says, "Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married."
"Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible….But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbour to take her seat?"
The man shakes his head. "No," he says. "They’re all at the funeral."
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wearthefoxhat
- Posts: 3221
- Joined: Sun Feb 18, 2018 9:55 am
When I found out I was a clone, I was beside myself.
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Realrocknrolla
- Posts: 1903
- Joined: Fri Jun 05, 2020 7:15 pm
This is the "offside rule" explained for women:
You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have.
The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire. Both of you have forgotten your purses.
It would be rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes.
The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.
Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma.
She prepares to throw her purse to you.
If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes!
At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and "whilst it is in flight" you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes!
BUT, you must always remember that until the purse has "actually been thrown", it would be plain wrong for you to be in front of the other shopper and you would be OFFSIDE!
You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have.
The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire. Both of you have forgotten your purses.
It would be rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes.
The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.
Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma.
She prepares to throw her purse to you.
If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes!
At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and "whilst it is in flight" you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes!
BUT, you must always remember that until the purse has "actually been thrown", it would be plain wrong for you to be in front of the other shopper and you would be OFFSIDE!
A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer, while the barman pours the beer he ask whats your name, duck replies its Huey, the barman then asks what did you do today, Huey replies I was in and out of pudles all day. Sounds like fun, it was said Huey.
A few minutes later another duck comes in sits next to Huey and asks the barman for a beer, The barman asks the duck his name and he replies its Hewey, Barman asks Hewey what he did all day, He replies I had a great day I was in and out of puddles all day, sounds like you had fun, Hewey said best day ever.
Moments later another duck walks in and before he can say anything the barman says, let me guess your name is Louie and you've had a great day and you've been in and out of puddles all day. The duck says no my name is Puddles and you really dont want to know the sort of day I've had
A few minutes later another duck comes in sits next to Huey and asks the barman for a beer, The barman asks the duck his name and he replies its Hewey, Barman asks Hewey what he did all day, He replies I had a great day I was in and out of puddles all day, sounds like you had fun, Hewey said best day ever.
Moments later another duck walks in and before he can say anything the barman says, let me guess your name is Louie and you've had a great day and you've been in and out of puddles all day. The duck says no my name is Puddles and you really dont want to know the sort of day I've had
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Trader Pat
- Posts: 4327
- Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2016 12:50 pm