Do you ever get lonely ?

[Daaniel]

Trading full time is a lonely job, we all know it, we’ve all struggled with it at least at some point in our careers. I know there has been several topics on this subject but I thought it would be nice to hear other people opinions on practical steps you took that has/hasn’t worked for your so far in overcoming this damn loneliness.

I’m 30 years old, I’m in my 8th year of full-time tennis trading. I’ve been gambling since 14 years old (asking older friends to place accumulators in street shops for me) and before moving to full time trading, I had 2-3 years of part time trading. Before going full-time, I had a couple of different jobs here and there so I do know the difference between being and employee or being my own boss and I do appreciate the freedom/financial freedom. I absolutely love what I do and I’m pretty good at it as well. At this point in life I wouldn’t see myself doing something else, however every now and then the loneliness gets the better of me and I start to lose the focus and the love for ,,the game’’.

Anyway, here’s my experience on the subject and this is what has produced mix to small or no results for me:
- For a couple of months, I rented a desk in a hub incubator. A hub is a go to place for business people, entrepreneurs or freelancers working in the digital area. It all looked very promising in the beginning but it ended up frustrating me even more. Whilst meeting new people and having a chat during a coffee break is nice, it all came with a cost. On top of the monthly rent bill they wouldn’t allow me to move all my desktop PCs and monitors limiting my performance and my profits. Trading tennis means you have to sometimes work nights (when tennis moves to Australia or US) and during my night shifts there the place would be completely empty anyway. Plus, I never felt comfortable when people would stare at my monitor .

- I started a small e-commerce company just to mix things up and I hired a part timer to help me run it. I only kept it for about 1 year since the profits after the expenses weren’t there and I realized spending even more time in front of the PC isn’t good for me, my health or my family.

- Find a couple of traders who are living in the same are and work together from the same place. I actually think it’s a pretty cool idea but unfortunately the 2 traders I found didn’t really fancy the idea or didn’t see the benefits in renting an office.

On the plus of things here’s what I do to keep my s..t together:

- Being active on social media or Skype chat. Even if I was never a fan of social media engaging in a few chats does seem to lightened me up and make me feel better.
- When I’m anticipating a slow day or I’m number crunching I occasionally take my laptop and work from Starbucks or other coffee shops.
- I typically spend 8-10 h/day in front of the PC. That leaves me plenty of time to go to every social meeting I can get my hands on. Whether it’s a family reunion, hitting beers with friends in pubs, going to hobby meetings, fitness classes, meetups etc. it all counts and ads up.


I'd love to hear more thoughts and ideas on this subject.

[Derek27]

I'm fortunate in that I've always been a solitary person. I felt very lonely when I was younger and wished I had more friends but now in my fifties trading on my own suits me down to the ground.

It is important of course, to make time to see your friends and family now and again.

[spreadbetting]

My missus works part time and one of my kids has finished uni this year, think I had more free time when I was working full time as an employee

[SeaHorseRacing]

I don’t think trading for everybody. I have only a few close friends but there so far away I’m like a master in my cave who only gets out to hunt for food.

[CallumPerry]

Think we should all have a Christmas do. The elite traders making millions can get the rounds in I am about a year in now as a part-time evening number cruncher. My main job is as a school teacher so when I get home I appreciate the quiet lol but when I eventually make the jump to full-time I'd like to keep up all the outside activities I do now. I'm part of writing club, cinema card holder (small group of mates go once a week without fail) and I do exercise most days. I think it is important to mentally have breaks and socially/mentally positive to go out have a laugh and relax the part of your brain which is active for the majority of the day.

[ShaunWhite]

If you've done this since you were 22 then maybe you don't realise how good life is. When I used to get disillusioned with good jobs I'd go and do a 'proper' job for a year to regain some perspective. Maybe you should try the same. Try being on your own in a van all day or being in a busy office with people you hate, for £7.50 an hour, that isn't a bed of roses either. Do you do any charity work to remind you of what reality is like for many many people?

If my old man was answering your question he'd have just said "boo hoo" and the older I get the more I see why he thought like that.

I'm not entirely unsympathetic, but did you really expect to find fulfillment sitting on your own in front of a computer for your entire life? Luckily you're young enough to go and try something more interesting, if you wanted to.

[LeTiss]

I'm an only child, so I've always been a solitary individual. I always enjoyed playing computer games on my own as a kid.

Yes, this is a lonely job, and it's not for everyone
This explains some people's trading mistakes - it's boredom

What I will say about this job though, is that it encourages isolation. I've said this many times on this forum......my greatest respect for Peter Webb is not his incredible green screens, or his energy and drive that has given us Bet Angel - the thing that impresses me most, is that he's been able to maintain a strong and healthy family life too

I've loved this job don't get me wrong, but for many years I became detached from life, and those lifelong friends who I started to forget about

[edge]

I only trade on the afternoon races. I leave the evenings free for the wife and kids, I always take sundays off.

[ShaunWhite]

Have the people here who get lonely got partners?
Being on your tod all day working is just std work fare, but if the house is empty when you switch off I can see the problem.

I'm fortunate I guess, my missus works from home too in the 'office' next door (aka box room). It's good knowing someone's there I suppose, and when work's done(6), we have a nice long evening. I try and limit work to 2pm till 6pm (mon-fri), chill/do stuff 6 till 1, work again 1am till 6am (mon-sat), and sleep 6 till 12...50ish hrs. A split day suits me, over 4hrs straight and it starts to feel like work, I get bored and I stop being effective.

All utterly irrelevent but I think it's more to do with your whole life package, not the job per se. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater, the work part is actually the bit that's cushty.

[Derek27]

If I had a partner I'd be ranting on the forum that she's interfering with my trading.

[stueytrader]

Great question OP.

I think it might partly relate to whether you have a partner and/or family too. I do, both partner and two kids. That certainly gives me the connection I need to people when I want it, and also when I don't want it.

However, I have, despite my family, sometimes let friendships become less important also in my life. I'm not completely full time in trading though, and I think that could also be a factor here. I work part time employed, though I would not say I make any real social life from that, so maybe that doesn't really change much. I love spending most of my time in trading activity at the end of the day. If I was single, I probably would feel slightly lonely perhaps.

As Le Tiss said above though, it maybe is related to your personality anyway - I'm very happy with my own company too, have been for a long time.

I do think the idea of a traders' piss up (earlier on) sounds great though!

[alexmr2]

I'm only a newbie trader but I've worked in a socially enjoyable job, a socially horrible job and an isolated work from home job before. I imagine being a full-time trader is somewhere in the middle depending on your outgoing-ness and social circle/activities. You can do what you want when you want so if you have social activities to do then its much easier to arrange these around your trading than it would be for a lot of full-time jobs. If you are successful enough to make a decent income from trading then you are in a good financial position without the bounds that most highly paid corporate jobs have

For me nothing would be worse than my previous office job sitting down in someone elses office fixed hours 8:30-6pm 5 days a week with boring people that you don't like for low pay - that is truly wasting a chunk of your life

[TraderFred]

Sometimes I feel I’m gonna break down and cry,
Nowhere to go, nothing to do with my time,
I get lonely, so lonely,
Trading on my own.

Come on baby,

Sometimes I feel I’m gonna break down and cry,
Nowhere to go, nothing to do with my time,
I get lonely, so lonely,
Trading on my own.

Sometimes I feel the markets are moving too fast,
And everything is coming down on me, down on me,
I go crazy, oh so crazy,
Trading on my own.

Back, lay, drifter,
Back, lay, steamer,
I don’t have no time for no monkey business,
Click, click, red book,
Click, click, green book,

I get so lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, yeah,

Got to be some good trades ahead......

[stueytrader]

For me nothing would be worse than my previous office job sitting down in someone elses office fixed hours 8:30-6pm 5 days a week with boring people that you don't like for low pay - that is truly wasting a chunk of your life

Agree with this, as a counterpoint to trading being a lonely, and wasteful, time. What we call 'normal' employment can certainly be that. I'm lucky that my actual employment is fairly autonomous and often from home also. When younger I once gained what seemed a great job, for money/prospects, and I completely hated it - because I was sat alone in an office most of the hours of the week. Now, that was lonely.

[brimson25]

I get lonely, but I've also worked in offices and felt very much like that.

There used to be trading rooms with fast pictures etc. I think they have all gone now.