Where are all the jokes?

Relax and chat about anything not covered elsewhere.
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Derek27
Posts: 25159
Joined: Wed Aug 30, 2017 11:44 am

Trader Pat wrote: ↑
Sat May 29, 2021 12:23 pm
 "Dad, how come my sister is called Teresa?"

"Because your mum loves Easter and it's an anagram of Easter"

"Thanks Dad"

"No problem Alan"
:lol:
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Derek27
Posts: 25159
Joined: Wed Aug 30, 2017 11:44 am

A Finnish forward scored a goal. :lol: :lol: :lol:
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sniffer66
Posts: 1818
Joined: Thu May 02, 2019 8:37 am

A bear walks in to a bar and says "I'd like a...........,.............. beer please"

Barman replies " Why the big pause?"

"No idea, I was just born with them"
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ANGELS15
Posts: 898
Joined: Wed Mar 22, 2017 9:57 am

A man walks into a chippy and says 'I'll have fish and chips twice please', the guy in the shop says 'it's alright I heard you the first time'.
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ANGELS15
Posts: 898
Joined: Wed Mar 22, 2017 9:57 am

A circus manager is auditioning for new acts. He sees the regular acrobats, fire breathers, jugglers etc. He's not impressed and he puts up a sign saying 'wanted new and unique acts'.

The next day a guy turns up, the manager says' what can you do?' The guy says 'I can sing tunes out of my backside'. Intriguged the managers says 'go ahead'. The guy pulls his trousers down sits on the wastepaper basket and does a big shit. The managers says 'what are you doing?' The guy said 'even Pavorotti had to clear his throat!'
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Dr Ginhog
Posts: 260
Joined: Wed Nov 03, 2010 12:10 am
Contact:
Contact Dr Ginhog

" I Could walpaper your hall through your letterbox"
Trust me Im a Doctor
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superfrank
Posts: 2762
Joined: Fri Aug 14, 2009 8:28 pm

https://vocaroo.com/1fHn2qUzEt6o
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paspuggie48
Posts: 738
Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am

superfrank wrote: ↑
Sat May 29, 2021 8:07 pm
 https://vocaroo.com/1fHn2qUzEt6o
LMAO !
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jamesg46
Posts: 3771
Joined: Sat Jul 30, 2016 1:05 pm

superfrank wrote: ↑
Sat May 29, 2021 8:07 pm
 https://vocaroo.com/1fHn2qUzEt6o
:lol:
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jimibt
Posts: 4197
Joined: Mon Nov 30, 2015 6:42 pm

“It all starts innocently, mixing chocolate and Rice Krispies, but before you know it you’re adding raisins and marshmallows – it’s a rocky road.”
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Trader Pat
Posts: 4327
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2016 12:50 pm

A man walks into a bar with a roll of Tarmac under his arm and says: "Pint please... and one for the road."
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sniffer66
Posts: 1818
Joined: Thu May 02, 2019 8:37 am

Trader Pat wrote: ↑
Sat May 29, 2021 9:20 pm
 A man walks into a bar with a roll of Tarmac under his arm and says: "Pint please... and one for the road."
Not someone to argue with. I've heard he's a total cyclepath
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Trader Pat
Posts: 4327
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2016 12:50 pm

sniffer66 wrote: ↑
Sat May 29, 2021 9:23 pm
Trader Pat wrote: ↑
Sat May 29, 2021 9:20 pm
 A man walks into a bar with a roll of Tarmac under his arm and says: "Pint please... and one for the road."
Not someone to argue with. I've heard he's a total cyclepath
:lol:
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paspuggie48
Posts: 738
Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:22 am

Someone just posted a comment on the BBC after Chelsea's win...

"Noel Gallagher where are you...??"

The best response was: -

"All the lights that lead him there are blinding" :D :lol: :)
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alexmr2
Posts: 768
Joined: Wed Sep 26, 2018 12:32 am

If we've learned one thing from the Discovery channel, it's that all of our ancestors were skeletons that lived underground
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