The beer garden
Lol. Had a similar moment when I thought I heard that Gavin Williamson is getting a knighthood.
Ha ha ha ha ha ..... oh Good grief!!!
I've just used a table knife to break the seal and it worked a treat. No women present, but with thousands of Ukrainian girls heading to the UK I feel well equipped to open their jars, for starters at least.Kai wrote: ↑Fri Dec 03, 2021 10:40 amAs a professional jar opener my advice would be to just pop the tight vacuum seal, I usually try and stick a knife under the lid or tap the lid a few times with a wooden spoon until it popsDerek27 wrote: ↑Fri Dec 03, 2021 6:26 amI've spent my entire life opening jars for women, but for the first time ever, I've got a fat jar of jalapenos that I can't open!
My natural instinct was to reach for my toolbox but the jar's too wide for mole grips. Smashing the jar open or drilling through the top would be a health hazard and contaminate the jalapenos.
Works every time unless there are beautiful single women present in which case it somehow embarrassingly won't work and you'll look like an idiot. So what you do in those situations is take a rubber band and wrap it around the lid before twisting it, you will not only appear clever but this will also prove how firm and manly your grip is to everyone present, sometimes even the men.
I'm glad it worked that well for you but hopefully that wasn't the only useful piece of advice that I've dispensed on this forumDerek27 wrote: ↑Thu Mar 10, 2022 6:18 amI've just used a table knife to break the seal and it worked a treat. No women present, but with thousands of Ukrainian girls heading to the UK I feel well equipped to open their jars, for starters at least.Kai wrote: ↑Fri Dec 03, 2021 10:40 amAs a professional jar opener my advice would be to just pop the tight vacuum seal, I usually try and stick a knife under the lid or tap the lid a few times with a wooden spoon until it popsDerek27 wrote: ↑Fri Dec 03, 2021 6:26 amI've spent my entire life opening jars for women, but for the first time ever, I've got a fat jar of jalapenos that I can't open!
My natural instinct was to reach for my toolbox but the jar's too wide for mole grips. Smashing the jar open or drilling through the top would be a health hazard and contaminate the jalapenos.
Works every time unless there are beautiful single women present in which case it somehow embarrassingly won't work and you'll look like an idiot. So what you do in those situations is take a rubber band and wrap it around the lid before twisting it, you will not only appear clever but this will also prove how firm and manly your grip is to everyone present, sometimes even the men.
Just enjoying Monty Python on That's TV.
How sad we have reached a point that comedy needs to be prefaced by "this programme reflects the standards, language and attitudes of its time. Some viewers may find this content offensive".
A satirical sketch right there!
How sad we have reached a point that comedy needs to be prefaced by "this programme reflects the standards, language and attitudes of its time. Some viewers may find this content offensive".
A satirical sketch right there!
Next, they'll be having a warning on Enid Blyton's books.greenmark wrote: ↑Sat Mar 19, 2022 11:47 pmJust enjoying Monty Python on That's TV.
How sad we have reached a point that comedy needs to be prefaced by "this programme reflects the standards, language and attitudes of its time. Some viewers may find this content offensive".
A satirical sketch right there!
I had that ah-ha moment when I realised why my code wasn't working. But before fixing it, I had a cigarette, a few more beers and posts to the Ukraine thread, and now I can't remember what the fuck the solution was! Just have to leave it for tomorrow.