Where are all the jokes?

[The Silk Run]

I've just been appointed as the PM's new ethics advisor. My resignation letter's in the post.

Dex the incumbent, you would probably do a better job.
I was in McDonald's the other day and bought a coffee with two 50p coins. A young girl took my money and then went out of sight, rather odd !!! She returned and said "have you seen the Cat" !!! Apparently, one of the coins had a Cat on it. She claimed that she could sell this for about £44.00 on ebay, and offered it back. I was more happy for her so I told her to keep it, no problem. Now I'm looking for 50p coins with Cat's on, lol

Is this the one? Should I purchase it as an investment?


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Good morning Derek. Yes, that's the one. I saw one on ebay for GBP15,000.00.

[Derek27]

Dex the incumbent, you would probably do a better job.
I was in McDonald's the other day and bought a coffee with two 50p coins. A young girl took my money and then went out of sight, rather odd !!! She returned and said "have you seen the Cat" !!! Apparently, one of the coins had a Cat on it. She claimed that she could sell this for about £44.00 on ebay, and offered it back. I was more happy for her so I told her to keep it, no problem. Now I'm looking for 50p coins with Cat's on, lol

Is this the one? Should I purchase it as an investment?


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Good morning Derek. Yes, that's the one. I saw one on ebay for GBP15,000.00.

There're the idiots who try to back favourites at 1000.

[Euler]

My wife likes it when I blow cold air on her when she's too hot.

Personally, I'm not a fan...

[Trader724]

The correct spelling is ALCOHOL and not ALCOHOL. Some people put the second O before the first O which is absolutely wrong!!!

[ANGELS15]

I've just been appointed as the PM's new ethics advisor. My resignation letter's in the post.

Dex the incumbent, you would probably do a better job.
I was in McDonald's the other day and bought a coffee with two 50p coins. A young girl took my money and then went out of sight, rather odd !!! She returned and said "have you seen the Cat" !!! Apparently, one of the coins had a Cat on it. She claimed that she could sell this for about £44.00 on ebay, and offered it back. I was more happy for her so I told her to keep it, no problem. Now I'm looking for 50p coins with Cat's on, lol

Strange that she would ask you about the cat you would think she would have kept quiet?

[Derek27]

I've just been appointed as the PM's new ethics advisor. My resignation letter's in the post.

Dex the incumbent, you would probably do a better job.
I was in McDonald's the other day and bought a coffee with two 50p coins. A young girl took my money and then went out of sight, rather odd !!! She returned and said "have you seen the Cat" !!! Apparently, one of the coins had a Cat on it. She claimed that she could sell this for about £44.00 on ebay, and offered it back. I was more happy for her so I told her to keep it, no problem. Now I'm looking for 50p coins with Cat's on, lol

Strange that she would ask you about the cat you would think she would have kept quiet?

That's honesty for you. I would have asked her out and told her she can have the 50p coin when she turns up.

[ANGELS15]

The correct spelling is ALCOHOL and not ALCOHOL. Some people put the second O before the first O which is absolutely wrong!!!

Havn't you just spelt it twice the same way?

[wearthefoxhat]

I've just been appointed as the PM's new ethics advisor. My resignation letter's in the post.

Dex the incumbent, you would probably do a better job.
I was in McDonald's the other day and bought a coffee with two 50p coins. A young girl took my money and then went out of sight, rather odd !!! She returned and said "have you seen the Cat" !!! Apparently, one of the coins had a Cat on it. She claimed that she could sell this for about £44.00 on ebay, and offered it back. I was more happy for her so I told her to keep it, no problem. Now I'm looking for 50p coins with Cat's on, lol

Is this the one? Should I purchase it as an investment?


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Going...Going....

TomK.png

[wearthefoxhat]

I’ve just seen a burglar breaking into his own house. I asked him what he was doing and he said, “Working from home”.

[Derek27]

What's Ukraine's biggest import? The Russian Military.

[Derek27]

Putin, Biden, Johnson, Zelensky and an asylum seeker are in a sinking hot air balloon. Putin throws out a bottle of vodka saying, "we've got too much vodka in Russia anyway". Biden throws out an AK-47, "we've got too many guns in the US". Johnson throws out the asylum seeker and Zelensky throws out Putin.

[Derek27]

What does Boris Johnson and a cube of chicken extract at a cabaret have in common? They're both laughing stocks.

[Derek27]

Zelensky calls Putin.

Zelensky: Hey Volodya, wanna hear a joke?

Putin: Sure

Zelensky: Ukraine

Putin: I don't get it.

Zelensky: You will never get it.

[Derek27]

If Putin decides to push the button millions of Russians will invade heaven. God's applied to join NATO.

[Derek27]

Girls. If you want to become a man, do it before puberty or you won't qualify for Olympic swimming.